Letters to You
by HarmonyGames
Summary: After the death of her mother, Hermione begins to write letters to deal with the pain. She finds that she is never happy, she doesn't eat. She hardly accepts any help, claiming she strong enough to deal with things on her own. After a while her habit of not eating results in becoming very Ill. Harry and Ron try to do everything they can to help her. Before she leaves them for good.
1. November 1st

October 31st

My friends forced me to eat again. I told them I _wasn't_ hungry. They never listen to me, It's not that I haven't eaten anything. I had a muffin and a sandwhich in the past three days. I sigh knowing that tomorrow will be a challenge again. Maybe I should just leave at lunch instead of sitting at the table with my friends trying to force food down my throat.

I rub my eyes. Too tired to even think, I don't even feel like starting the homework I've been assigned. Thats saying something for me because I always finish _Eveything _on time.

_November 1st (Morning)_

_It's been hard being away from you this long. I never thought this day would come so soon. I'm alright here. It's been a great first few months back at school so far. Once I come back for the christmas holidays father said that he would take me to see you. I have some really important exams coming up soon. I know I'll do great I've been studying all month. _

_As soon as I get the results I promise that I'll tell you how I've done. I know whatever happens you and father will be very pround of me. Nobody will ever know what else I've been dealing with. Like today. My friends were forcing me to eat. They basically shoved the food down my throat! I'm not even that small. It's not like im even anywhere near anorexic. _

_I'm not trying to sound needy but it's like my friends dont even care about me. They don't see whats beneath all this starving. They don't know the cause and it seems that they don't even want to find out. If you can help me out, even just a little bit that would be great. I love you and father both very much you must understand that. It's just been too hard on me. I know my friends love me. I just think that they won't understand it. I can't tell them... At least not yet. _

I tie the a little red balloon to my letter. My mother always loved those... I watch as the balloon floats away into the sky farther and farther away until all I can see is a small dot far away up in the sky.

"Hey!" I hear from behind me. "Hello" I smile turning to face him.

"Are you alright? you haven't even eaten in days... why didn't you show up at breakfast today"

I laugh "I'm fine, just not very hungry." I tell him.

"You've hardly been eating in days! what am I supposed to do? I'm not sure that I can even do everything! You have to tell me whats wrong. Why aren't you eating?"

"I can assure you that I'm not anorexic... Alright? good enough?"

He sighs "Hermione, I care about you a whole lot and I just can't have you sick like this."

I shake my head. "It's not like that. I don't think I can tell you why yet. You might not understand."

"Hermione, you can tell me I'll undersrtand, If something is hurting you..."

I cut him off "No, it's not like that, I'd tell you if it was like that... I promise."

He nods. "I understand. Make sure to tell me when you're ready alright?" He asks me finishing off in a questioning tone.

"Let's go down to the great hall 'm sure they'll still give you something to eat before classes start."

I look at him like he's crazy. "You're not going to trick me that easy" I say.

"Come on, please at least have a glass of juice or a muffin, toast, friut... anything really, you need something.. You don't want to do bad on your exams do you?"

"I haven't eaten in three days.. a forth one wont matter."

Harry looks at me like I'm crazy. "You do want to pass fifth year don't you?" He asks

I glare at him. "Finals aren't until the end of the year, I could be better by then, I don't plan on being sick forever you know."

"You need calories, at least have something to drink." Harry tells me.

I roll my eyes at him "Fine" I say caving "I'll drink, but this doesn't ,mean I'm going to eat anything"

I walk down to the hall with Harry and meet Ron along the way. "Hey" He smiles "I'm going to pick up a few things then head off to the library, Exams tomorrow"

"We'll come with you" I say turning around.

Harry looks at me. "Don't think I forgot where we were taking you, you need to eat or drink something."

Ron scrunches his nose "Whats wrong with her?"

I scowl at him "I can assure you that there is nothing wrong with me" I say crossing my arms "I just haven't been hungry and Harry is taking it much to seriously."

"Come on Hermione, let's go" He says pulling me by the arm.

Once we are in the great hall. I choose a table to sit at and Harry follows. He pours me a large glass of juice.

"Am I supposed to drink ALL of that" I ask.

"Yeah" He nods "You should, and you should eat something too, you are goning to get very sick very fast if you continue like this"

I get up from the table leaving the glass untouched "I'm leaving, Ron told us to meet him in the library and just like him I have exams to study for and you should be studying too, there's more important thing in life than food and eating"

"Yeah, like health. You're very smart, I know that. It's time to use that knowledge. What do you think you should do?"

Harry looks at me sadly. I shake my head at him disaprovingly. Finally after a few moments of akward silence he speaks. "Fine, I can't force you to do anything, make the right choices though, alright?"

"I make good choices" I say. Turning around to leave Harry all by himself at the table. "If you need me you know where to find me" I say without turning around to face him. I keep walking until I find myself at the library. Draco Malfoy, is sitting with some other slytherin students in a corner. A few first year hufflepuffs sit right in the front. The ravenclaws are in thier usual spot. I walk to the back and find Ron, sitting with Lavender in our usual corner of the library.

"Hermione!"

"Oh, sorry Ron, I didn't realize you'd be busy, I'll just go back up to the common room, If Harry comes tell him where I went" I smile turning around.

"Hermione wait! Come back, I was waiting for you, Don't leave"

I smile. "Thanks Ron" I take a seat down at the table. "What would you like to do first?" I ask him.

He shrugs "I don't know, I have Charms, Potions and History of Magic"

"I'm finished those, but if you want some help... I would be more than happy to help you with it."

"Thanks Hermione, I Have a few questions that I couldn't get and if you could go over my charms essay and the report for history of magic that would be great. Oh and I'll be back in about an hour Lavender told me that she would like to show me something. Good luck, Thanks so much... see you soon" Ron tried to say really fast as Lavender was basically pulling on his arm dragging him out of the room and away from me.

"Oh" I say softly, My voice is barely audible. "I thought we were going to stay here together and go over some things and study"

"I'm really sorry Hermione, I really am. I'll be back soon and then I'll be more than happy to help you study."

I look over at him sadly and I nod. Keeping my head down afterwards. I rub my left eye with my right hand. Looking down at Ron's papers. "You going to be okay?" He asks. Working hard to resist Lavender's pulls.

"Yeah I'll be just fine" I say.

One harsh pull away from Lavender and Ron is free he comes over and hugs me. "Thanks Hermione. I owe you" He says. He returns back to Lavender. She jumps up excitedly and giggles. "Ready?" She smiles at Ron. Lavender just giggles.

After both Ron and Lavender are gone I shove everything aside and take out my writing set.

_November 1st (Afternoon)_

_Harry tried to make me eat today. After I caved and told him that I would at least drink something, I Didn't. After that I was supposed to go and meet Ron in the library. But he was with Lavender and according to him. I still matter. I just matter less than some people. Mostly Lavender. I don't know why she likes him so much. He doesn't seem to like her very much. It almost pains him to be with her. My theroy is that she's just dragging him down and he's to nice to say anything to her. _

_I wish he would rather hang out with me instead of her. I'm know that he's very appriciative of what I always do for him. But it couldn't be that bad could it? I am doing his work after all. The very least he could do is stay and hang out or sit or chill or whatever he wants to say. He should be here with me. I swear if he doesn't show up in two hours I will go hunt him down and tell him what I really think. I don't need him dragging me down. I can fight for myself. I don't need to do anybody's work but mine. Ron can find somebody else to help him with his school work or at the very least he could consult a book. _

_I guess today hasn't been too bad. Harry was nice enough to come right out and tell me he cares about me. He doesn't want me to get sick. I know I should be eating mother I really do. I just don't think that I can. I've been so sad lately. I really wish you could be here with me. I really need help with my schoolwork I want to do the best I can. I'm just the smartest I guess, If that sounds arrogant I'm sorry. None of the older students would help me. (I am smarter than some of them too) I can't wait until christmas break and until I can go home. _

_Well I hope you get this letter. I promised Harry that I would meet him for Lunch, Hopefully this time I won't be forced or pressured into eating anything today at lunch. But sometime I will have to face this. I promise you that I woun't be joining you anytime soon. I don't think I'm ready for that yet. My friends need me too. Maybe I will eat a little bit today. Only to make them happy. Not alot but a little bit. I have to start off slowly don't I. Little by little I promise you I will get better. _


	2. Evening

**So just to be clear this is mt NaNoWrimMo story. So if it sucks i'm sorry about that. I just didn;tt want to not update any stories for an entire month so I decided on this and I hope you like it. **

"Hermione?" I hear somebody call "Hermione where are you?"

A few seconds later I see Harry peek around the corner of the bookshelf. "You okay?" He asks me. "You seem sad, whats been going on lately you haven't been yourself."

"I'm just sad, I'm sure that I'll get over it soon, don't worry about me."

"What are you working on? I though you would be done your schoolwork by now." Harry asks me.

"Oh, I met Ron and Lavender here, they left a while ago and he wanted me to look a few things over for him."

Harry looked discusted. "Ron wouldn't do that. He would at least stay here with you while you help him."

"I'm sure it won't happen again. Once Is not that bad", besides hes my friend. He doesn't expect that from me. He only wants to do well in school. I'll get over it" I smile.

"You want some help, I'm sure I could try to help you. I'm am a little smarter than Ron you know"

"Hey" I laugh hitting him on the shoulder "Be nice"

"He's not even here, he won't even care"  
"Sneaky" I Laugh again.

"I'm almost finished with it, would you like me to help you with anything?"

Harry Stammers. "Don't feel bad, I'm sure it won't take that long" I tell him sweetly.

"Will you help me with the charms assignment and check over my essay?" He asks me.

"Yeah alright, You have it with you, or did you leave it in the common room?"

"It's in the common room, we could go and get it if you like, or we could go and do it after lunch is over. Whatever you like"

"Thanks Hermione"

"So... I guess we should find Ron or wait for him,I have his assignments ready for him."

"I'm sure he's around, but it would be easir for me to drop them off in the common room, you want to head over?"

"Yeah alright Harry, I'll pack up"

After I finish packing up all the school assignments I walk over to the Gryffindor common room with Harry.

"Flibbertigibbet" I hear Harry say. The portrait swings open and I walk inside. The sun fills the room. A few third years are at a table working on something The first years are sitting by the fireplace talking amongst themselves.

I take a seat next to the window with Harry. "Here, give me Ron's assignments and I'll go and put them on his desk."

I hand the papers over to Harry and watch as he walks over in the direction of the boys dormatories. It takes less than a minute before he comes back with his own papers.

"So I have about five questions left on for charms and It would be amazing if you could look over my History of Magic essay."

I help Harry with the last five questions and then look over his essay. "Your essay is really great. I don't think that I'd be able to fix anything. You may want to check your spelling over quickly again. I didn't see anything but just to make sure. Other than that I'm sure you'll do really great" I smile

Harry nods. "Thanks Hermione. Do you want to head down to the great hall for lunch now?"

"Yeah alright, I'm not very hungry though"

Harry sighs "Oh come on Hermione, You're way too smart you know that you'll get sick if you don't eat."

"I know Harry, I just feel sick if I eat. I don't want to eat yet, I'm not hungry."

"You're never hungry Hermione, If you don't eat I'm going to take you to the hospital wing and they can figure out whats happening to you."

I roll my eyes. "Fine, I'll eat something, but don't expect it to be too much, I'll get sick"

"That's fine... Small amounts is okay." Harry assures me.

I think for a while. Sighing I decide to ask Him a question. "Would you miss me if I was gone?"

"What?"  
"Would you miss me if I was gone" I repeat.

"Gone, like dead gone or like away for the month gone."

"I don't know just gone." I say shurgging my shoulders.

"Why would you even ask that, Of course I would miss you, why wouldn't I you're my best friend Hermione"

"Sometimes I wish I could dissapear and see if anybody would care, if anybody would miss me"

"I know one person who would miss you"

"Thanks" I whisper softly.

"Are you sad?" Harry asks

"Yeah" I nod "You wouldn't understand"

"No matter how sad you may be, believe that happiness is waiting. It may take a while to find, but you will find it eventually I promise"

_November 1st (evening)_

_Hello again Mother, I sure hope that you are getting these. So far School hasn't been to stressfull. Ron has me helping him with his schoolwork all the time now. While he goes off who knows where with Lavender. I don't think I should be helping him this much but he is my friend. I don't want to lose my friends. I can't just say no, that would be rude wouldn't it. If you were here I would ask you for advice but somehow if I do that now I just don't think it would really work out too well._

_I also help Harry with his work, He stays with me ans I mostly just point out where ther answers are in the textbooks. He does most of the work and he is getting much better at writing essays. He is also much more appriciative of my help than Ron is. Harry always thanks me where Ron just lets me do the work and has Harry drop it off in the room for him. If it wasn't for me I swear that boy would fail his classes. I can't wait for exams, let's see how he does in those! Hopefully that didn't sound as rude as it did in my head._

_I ate today. Harry convinced me to eat something. I wasn't that much I had some water and a half of a sandwhich. I can't starve myself butI certainly won't stuff my face full of food if you know what I mean. I hope you know why I haven't been eating. It's not because I think I'm fat. I can one hundred percent assure you that I am not gonig to turn into an anorexic. If you must know I'm not eating because I'm sad. Depressed even. I really hope these melancholy feelings subside soon so I can get back to normal life. _

_I promise I will never forget you. Just because I'm sad doesn't mean I don't miss you Mother. I miss you so much and I always will. I almost feel gulity about being happy sometimes. It hasn't been that long and I'm already happy. I've just been wondering if this is normal. I know It's not good to be sad forever and I'll try and get over it. I know you would never want me to be sad for this long. Anyways thanks for listening to me rant. I'll try to write again sometime soon. I do hope you get these. If you do a sign would be great. Thanks for listening._

I finish writing the letter. I look out the window. It's dark out this time so I can't see the balloon go very far. I walk back over to my bed and crawl under the covers hoping that tomorrow will be better. As I drift off farther and farther into a deep sleep I start to dream

_I walk down a long hallway I see Harry and Ron. "Harry" I call. When he doesn't speak I call again. "Harry" He doesn't even turn around to face me. He acts like I'm not there. "HARRY" I yell. I still get no reaction from him. "Ron" I call softly. I don't get a reaction out of Ron either. "RON" I yell. Even Ron isn't going to speak to me. I turn around quickly and see Luna. "Luna" I call running towards her. _

_"Hello" She calls._

_"Luna thank goodness, somebody will talk to me"_

_Later I find out she wasn't even talking to me. She was adressing Harry and Ron. _

_"Hello Luna" Harry calls._

_"I'm sorry about Hermione." She says._

_Sorry about Hermione. Don't they realize im right here. _

_"Thank you Luna, I don't understand why she would do something like this. It so unlike her. I wish I would have done something for her. I miss her"_

_What does he mean he misses me! Im standing right over here. Doesn't he see me? _

_"She really did it didn't she" Ron said "She killed herself"_

_Jump back shocked. I DID WHAT? I wouldn't do that! What was I thinking!_

_"I feel bad, I should have treated her better."_

_You certainly should have. I think to myself._

_"I'm sure that it wasn't your fault Ron" Luna tells him_

_Well if it's anybodys fault it's yours Ron... I think._

"Hermione, Hermione" I hear a voice call "HERMIONE!"

I'm being shaken.

"What!" I snap. Sitting up. "Oh Ginny, hey what are you doing here?"

* * *

**Afterthoughs on NaNoWriMo**

**WHAT HAVE A SIGNED UP FOR!  
WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO!  
THIS IS CRAZY! **


	3. Luna's Wise Words

"I heard you talking in your sleep, Is there something wrong?"

"No, Ginny, nothing is wrong."

"Are you sure? Harry has been telling me you won't eat."

I look over at her. "What else has he told you?" I ask.

"Not much, does he know why you are so sad too?"

I look down at the floor and sigh. I breathe in deeply and look out the window... It's still dark out. I stare out the window for a long time before looking back over at Ginny "No, he doesn't know and I don't plan on telling him, or anybody else."

"Why"

"Because I don't want too, thats why, I like privacy, nobody needs to know everything about my life."

"Alright" Ginny nods "No, I guess we don't need to know everything about you. If you want to tell us. You know we won't judge you. You don't have to hide"

I stay silent and Ginny leaves before she goes back to her own bed she whispers something to me. But I barely hear it. "Get some sleep Hermione, see you in the morning."

"See you in the morning" I mumble softly.

I turn over to the bedside table and check my watch. 3:52. I throw it back on the table and turn over in my bed. Hoping to ge a last few hours of precious sleep. I toss and turn and try to find a comfortable positon to sleep in. It seems like hours later before I decide to check my watch again, it only 4:06. I grumble and pull the covers up over my head. I throw them down to my feet and get up out of bed and take out my writing set from underneath it.

I sit back down on my bed and take out a paper and pen.

_November 2nd (4. a.m)_

_Its very early in the morning here. Ginny woke me up because I was talking im my sleep. I had a really awful dream. It went like this. I was dead, but I didn't know it until the end. I thought that everybody was ignoring me because nobody would reply to me. Then I found out that they couldn't hear me or see me. Ron and Harry were both very upset that I died. But it wasn't a natural death. According to them I did it myself. I couldn't even begin to imagine I don't even think I could do that to myself. Do you think I could? I really don't think I would be able to do that. I hope its only a dream and not the future. _

_Are you worried about me? I hope not. I promise I will be fine soon. I Still Haven't told anybody even my friends what happened yet. I don't even think that I'm ready to tell my friends what happened yet. I know that Father has sent the teachers each a letter. They are the only people who know what really happened._

_I'm writing to you because I can't sleep. It's been really hard to sleep lately. Sometimes I don't fall asleep until two or three am. I hope that after I have finished sending am writing you this letter I could still salvage at least at hour or two of sleep. Classes begin again soon and I have exams. I am so nervous, even though I have been studying so much I still don't think I'm one hundred percent ready to take them. I Know they aren't finals or midterms or anything like that. But they are still very important tests. I can only hope that I remember everything and count on all my studying and hard work that I have been doing to help me pass. Wish me luck!_

I finish writing and send the framilar red balloon out the window. Watching as the sun peeks through the moutains.

"Hermione, why are you up so early" Ginny calls. "I thought you were going back to sleep."

"Oh, I couldn't sleep, I was just writing a letter." I smile at her.

Ginny smiles back at me and comes to sit on the edge of my bed. "To who?" She asks.

"My parents."

"At four in the morning?"

"Owls are nocturnal aren't they." I tell her.

"yeah" she smiles "I guess so. I can't sleep either, you want to get ready and go down to the common room, hang out for a while."

"Yeah, Why not."

Ginny and I walk to the common room only a few minutes later. I look over at Ginny as we sit down on the couch closest to the fire. Even this early they still have a nice fire going in the fireplace.

"Are you still tired" Ginny asks.

"Yeah, a little bit. I'll be fine." I assure her.

"You look like you could fall asleep any second. You haven't been eating either have you? You look so small Hermione. Are you sick?"

"No" I laugh "trust me I'll be okay" I look into the fire. Watching the flames dance around in the fireplace. Watching the orange, red and yellow colors miz and the dance. Listening to the crackling sounds and following stray sparks as the leave the fire.

"Hermione, are you sure that you're okay." Ginny asks me.

"Ginny" I start. "I am postive I'll be okay"

Ginny and I talk for a while before long both Harry and Ron walk down to the common room. Both are surprised to see us. "Are you going to come down for breakfast with us" Harry asks.

It takes only a little bit of convincing before I crack and leave with the three of them down to the great hall to eat.

"Eat" Harry says.

"I'm still not hungry" I tell him.

"This has been going on long enough! Eat somethign or I will take you to the hospital wing and they can deal with your problem!"

"I don't need help, I just don't want to eat because I'm not hungry, It's that simple and I ate something yesterday. You forced me to remember?"

"That, was hardly anything! You have to eat like a normal person. If you don't you're going to get sick."

I roll my eyes then get up and leave. "I'll be in the common room or library if you need me, and if you bring me food I'm not going to eat it so don't even bother."

I walk away from them not bothering to look back. I continue walking until I arrive at the Library. As I turn the corner a warm smile meets me.

"Hello Hermione, how are you?" Luna asks me sweetly.

"I'm alright Luna, thank you. How are you?"

"I am good" Luna replies. "You seem to be trouble, something is bothering you isn't it."

I sigh. "Yeah, I'll be okay."

"It's about somebody very close too you isn't it? Somebody has passed didn't they?" I look at Luna, confused about how she knows so much. "I lost my mother when I was very young. I know how it feels. You don't have to go through this alone."

"How did you know it was her?" I ask.

"I can see it in your eyes. They way you move, and how you act, through your emotion" She replied.

"Luna, you can't tell anybody else what has happened."

"I understand, I won't say anything."

I smile. "Thank you Luna."

She smiles in response. "Take care of yourself Hermione."

I watch as she leaves with her stack of books. I retreat to my usual corner of the library after finding the books I need to study. I open the first book. _A History of Magic Volume One, Two and Three. _As soon as I start reading chapter three of the book I hear my name being called.

"Hey, We've been looking for you" Harry tells me.

"Alright" I say shutting the book. "What do you need."

"I don't need anything, I just wanted to talk. Just talk... Thats all" Harry assures.

"I have nothing to talk about."

I rub my eye. "I'm really tired, I think I'm just going to try and get some sleep. I hardly slept last night."

"okay, I'll walk with you..." Harry smiles.

"Thanks" I smile back.

_November 3rd(afternoon)_

_So I was studying in the library for a little while today and Harry came and found me a little later after I left them during breakfast. I was talking to Luna and she found out what happened. I made her promise not to tell anybody though. I was on the third chapter when Harry came in. I told him I was tired so he walked me upstairs to our common room. I slept for three hours before Ginny woke me up. She told me if I stayed in bed to long I wouldn't be able to sleep at all tonight. But in all honest I could probably sleep forever. _

_It's almost time for supper now. I think I might eat just a little bit. Only to make my friends happy though. I'm not hungry though. But they have been telling me that I'll get sick if I don't eat. As much as I want to see you again I really need my friends and I think they need me too. I think they would miss me too much. I hope I can find a time to write you soon again. I miss you. Best wishes._

I set the letter down for a few minutes and run up to my room. After I come back down with the little Red Balloon I always tie to the letter I send it away. Waiting until i can no longer see it and watching until it floats out of sight.


	4. Evening Study Session

**This is NaNoWriMo . That means chapters almost everyday! This is crazy. What have I gotten Myself Into. **

"Hermione, Its time to eat? are you coming?"

"Yeah, I'll only be a moment Ginny."

She nods. I meet he just outside the hall. Harry and Ron are there too.

"You going to eat something this time?" Ron asks me.

"Yeah" I'll eat something. Don't worry I'm not going to intentionally make myself sick."

Ron smiles, Harry and Ginny do too. "If we get down there and you refuse to eat I'll take you right to the hospital wing, I don't care what you say, if you don't eat soon, You're going to need help."

I glare at Harry. "I told you I would eat. "Stop making a big deal out of nothing."

He shakes his head disaprovingly. I'm not even doing anything wrong. What's his problem anyway. He claims he cares too much. If he cared, he would try harder to make me tell him what was wrong... Not that I would tell him anyways.

We sit down at the far end of the Gryffindor table in the great hall. Ginny left to go sit with some of her other friends closer to the middle of the table. Leaving me alone with Harry, Ron and a few other fifth year Gryffindors. After it is announced that supper is ready I put only a few things on my plate to eat. A bun, a small bowl of salad and a slice of ham. I fill up my glass with water.

"Glad to see that you're actually going to eat something" Harry says, smiling as he looks over at me.

"I'm only doing this for you, Understand that. I'm not hungry, this is so you will stop bothering me about how bad it is that I won't eat."

"Weather you're doing it for me or not I'm happy"

I sigh. I really don't want any trouble from or for my friends. I Love them really. I continue to eat supper even though after the first few bites I feel like throwing up. I keep trying to tell myself that I haven't eaten much In days and this won't hurt me. By body and brain have other ideas though.

I shove my plate away after I finish half the bun that I ended putting my ham on.

"Not Hungry" Harrys voice calls. He sounds sympathetic and his voice is soothing to hear.

"Not really..."

"It's okay, your appetite will come back soon. You don't have to eat."

I sigh. I've found myself doing that quite a bit lately. "Would you like it if I brought you back up to the common room? We can stay there and study or something."

"That would be nice" I smile sweetly. Both of us get up at the same time and walk out of the great hall together. "Hermione, I now you didn't just get up one day and choose not to eat. Something bad happened didn't it?"

I breathe deeply, closing my eyes and bowing my head. "Yes. Something did happen." I begin slowly. "I'm not ready to tell you yet." I finish.

"Have you told anybody else"

"No" I figure Luna doesn't count because techincally I didn't tell her. She read my emotions or something of that nature. Personally I don't believe in that kind of stuff. I figure she must have heard the staff or teachers talking about it somewhere.

"Are you going to tell me soon?" I question.

"I might." I say mysteriously. "Lets just go upstairs to the Common Room and study. "I promise you will be the first person I tell."

As we enter the common room we make out way to our usual spot by the fireplace. Harry sits down on the couch. "I'm going to get my books."

"Alright. See you in a bit" Harry responds.

I run up the steps and walk into the room. Grabbing my books of my side table. I return to the common room and sit down beside Harry. "What would you like to go over first?"

"History of Magic, that one is our first exam." He replies.

"Sure." I nod in approval. I take out My History of Magic textbook and place it on the couch between us. I put the rest of the books down on the floor. I open up the book to chapter three where I had left off the time Harry,Ron and Ginny interupted me at the Library.

I stare into the fire. Just like I had before. Watching the flames as they dance. The sparks as the fly out of the fire place. It seems that I am in a world of my own. Like nothing else matters. Like nobody else it watching me. Nobody is with me. I'm sure It's not even minutes before I'm dragged back to reality. I"m being yelled at and shaken.

"Hermione!" Harry calls. "Hermione are you okay?"

I blink really fast a few times. "Yeah, I'm fine" I call back. "Just spaced out for a second."

"Hermione, tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"Tell me what happened."

"I can't."

"Why not, I know something has been bothering you for a long time now and you won't tell me."

"Harry, I just can't tell you, it's not that easy to say."

"You're going to continue to hurt in this way if you continue to keep this secret from us."

I get up and walk over to the window. It's just staring to get dark outside. "What are you doing Hermione."

"I can't take it anymore It's too much to take in. I can't stand this, Life is so unfair!"

"Hermione, I would love to help you, but you have to tell me what happened. You have to tell me whats wrong."

"I don't plan on telling anybody anytime soon, I'm sorry. I have to go now..." I look over at him, he looks sad.

"I thought that you were going to help me study for the History Of Magic exam on tuesday."

"I know Harry and I'm really sorry I just don't think my mind is focused of studying tonight, I promise I'll help you Tomorrow and Monaday. I think I just need to go and get some sleep."

"Alright Hermione, sleep well."

"You too, Goodnight Harry."

"Goodnight Hermione" He replies in a soft whisper. So soft that his voice is barely audible to me.

I walk up the steps to the girls dorms and sit down on my bed. I decide on writing on last letter today before I go to sleep.

_November 3rd(Evening)_

_It's late here, just after dinner. I have been talking to Harry alot lately and he is really worried about me. I don't know why I won't tell him what happened. I just can't really bring myself to do it. Anyways this exam that I have been telling you about is for History Of Magic. I told Harry I would help him study tonight but I left. I couldn't concentrate. I promised him that I would help tomorrow and Monday. Considering our exam isn't until Tuesday. _

_Harry is turing out to be an issue now. He won't give up on finding out what happened. Luna found out today. She told me that she could read my emotion and body movement and that she could see it in my eyes. You and me both know that I don't believe in that stuff. I think she just heard it from some of the staff memebers of the teachers and said that to sound more impressive. _

_Well I think that I going to go to sleep now. I wish you all the best mother. I really miss you. I can't wait to see you again. I know I have a lot of life to live and it won't be for a long time. I'm not quite sure of what I should do yet. I've been having all these weird emotions and feelings. I feel guilty for being happy and I don't enjoy being sad. I feel guilty for trying to move on. I really need to tell somebody about this. I know the staff here knows everything. I just don't want my friends to know yet. I don't know what their reaction would be. I've never lost anybody before. _


	5. A Visit Back Home

**Im sorry if this is not my greatest work. Its NaNoWriMo, I hope you are enjoying the story so far. I just love to read all your reveiws.**

**NOVEMBER 4TH.**

I wake up to the sound of birds chirping, somebody must have left the window open again. I get up to close it and find that everybody else is already gone. I quickly get myself ready and walk down to the common room. Nobody is there except for a few seventh years working on some schoolwork in the corner.

I run back up the steps and grab my bookbag. Heading over in the direction of the library. Almost nobody is there. Whatever, I enjoy peace and quiet anyways. I sit down at the desk in my usual corner and pull out my History Of Magic textbook. Hopefully I'll be able to study today. _Chapter 3, The Rise and fall of magical beings. _I breathe in deeply before I start to read the chapter. After what seems to be hours I look at the my watch. Thirty Seven minutes have past. _Well _I think to myself. _Three chapters down only forty-two more left. _

"Miss Granger." I hear somebody call.

"Yes, over here" I say softly.

"You're father would like you too know that he will be taking you out of school this afternoon. You will be leaving in two hours. Understand?"

"Yes" I nod, "I'll be ready" I finish.

"Good, meet me in my office in two hours time."

I watch Mcgonagall leave and I return to book. An Hour has past and I have finshed Chapter four and just under half of chapter five. I decide to pack up and head back to the dormatories. Once Im back I pack up a bag, a couple books to study since I'll be there overnight, and a few other important things. I determine that I have about half and hour before I'm supposed to meet Mcgonagall in her office. Just enough time to write one letter.

_November 4th_

_Today father is arranging to have me brough back home for two days. I realize why I don't think it needs to be said. I wonder what my friends are going to say. They will ask why I was gone. I have though of making up a lie and telling them I was sick. Or that I had a few things to deal with at home. But if I tell them either they would want to know what I was sick with or what I had to deal with. I know that they are my friends and I should be able to tell them the truth about these things but I just can't bring myself to do it. If Ron's parents died I wouldn't know what to say. _

_What if they leave me. What if they don't know what to say they never want to talk to me ever again. I should be able to tell my friends these things. They are important to me and we need each other. But as much as I love and care about them and as much as the love and care about me. We really don't need to know eveything about each other do we? I Know you would disagree with me if you were here. You would tell me that It was okay to tell everything was going to be alright. You would tell me that my friends of all people would understand me and be there for me. It's just really hard to go through all this. I don't even know how this happened and father refuses to tell me. I though I would come home for christmas and we could be together. I thought that everyhitng would be different. _

_I 'm not looking forward to going home at all. I wish I could just stay here. I know that It would be important for you to have me there. But somehow I don't think that I can handle it. I don't like crying in front of other people, or by myself. I don't like seeing people sad either it makes me feel like I should say something to them and I'm just not sure what to say yet, everybody is going to be like "i'm sorry for your loss" What am I supposed to say? I'm certainly not fine. It's certainly not okay... Do I just keep quite and nod. Do I cry and let them hug me. I hate this, this is so confusing! Why does the world have to be so unfair! Anyways Mother I'm sorry for freaking out on you. I hope you are well, wishing you the best. _

I send the letter off and walk down to the McGonagall's office.

"Are you ready ?"

"Yes" I reply softly. Holding on to my bag tightly. We step into her office. WE use the floo network to get to my father. Arriving at my house. My Father is sitting on the couch waiting.

"Hermione, you're here" He smiles hugging me to tightly I can barely breathe. "Hi" I reply.

"I've missed you" He says.

"I missed you too" I reply smiling sweetly.

"I will arrange to have her picked up tomorrow evening" McGonagall tells my father.

"Alright, I will make sure that she is ready"

I make my way back up to my bedroom then. I can Still hear my father talking to her. I lay down on my bed staring at the celling. "Hermione" My father calls "Where are you?"

I don't reply. "Hermione" He says walking into my room. "Are you alright?" He asks sitting on the edge of my bed.

"I'm fine" I reply shortly.

He looks over at me and out his arm around me, pulling me towards him. I rest my head on his shoulder. "Are you sure You're alright?" He asks again.

I breathe in deeply. "No, I'm not sure."

"Are any of you're friends going to come?"

"No, I say" I haven't told them yet."

"Hermione, you have to tell them. You've told me about Harry, out of anybody he will understand you."

"I know, I should tell him. I should tell all my friends, I just don't know how too, nothing like this has ever happened to me before."

"Hermione, my mother passed away a few years after you were born, do you remember that?"

"No." I tell him.

"You were only two years old, she wasn't sick, it just happened one day, Your grandmother loved you very much."

I nod. I didn't know what to say too him. "Was mother sick" I ask.

"No, she wasn't sick, it just happened. It was very unexpected Hermione, you have to understand. Your mother wanted you to be with her then. She wanted to see you one last time."

I look away from him. "Can you leave me alone for a while" I tell him.

"Sure." He replies. "I'll come back and check on you soon, alright."

I nod a yes because I don't think that I can speak right now. As soon as my father leaves I lie down on my bed and close my eyes. I pull the covers up ove my head and try to fall asleep.

_"Hermione, why didn't you tell us?" Harry asks_

_"I didn't know what you would think, or say." I reply. _

_"Hermione, my parents died when I was young, I never knew them, and they didn't just die Hermione, they were killed and you don't think that I would understand you?" _

_"I didn't say that! I just didn't know how you would react." _

_"If you can't tell us...your friends something like this maybe you should find some new friends." Harry replies. Turning away from me and walking down the hall._

_"See, I told you! I was afriad you would leave me. You don't care." I yell after him. "Were you really my friend? Or were you just looking for an excuse to get rid of me!"_

_I hear him sigh loudly. "Hermione, you know I care, I'm angry you didn't tell me, yes but I'm not going to leave you alright?"_

"Hermione, Hermione" I wake up to my fathers soft voice calling my name. He is sitting on the corner of my bed again. "Hermione." I brought up some tea, would you like some?" He asks.

"Sure, what kind is it."

"Peppermint." He replies handing me a teacup.

I take a slowly take a sip of the steaming peppermint tea. Closing my eyes for a few second before opening them again.

"Peppermint was your mothers favourite." Father tells me.

"I know, I reply, she would always bring some up to me when I was feeling sad, or when I was sick." I respond.

I set the tea down on my bedside table. "When are we leaving?" I ask.

"It's not until tomorrow morning, I thought we could go out for supper tonight, where would you like to go?"

"Surprise me." I smile.

"How long did I sleep exactly?" I question. "Two hours, get ready we can leave for supper in an hour."

I nod and go over to my closet to as he leaves through the door. I have no idea what to wear. I Have a blue dress that I wore for my fathers birthday last summer. After going through most of my clothes I pick a yellow sundress that goes down just a little past my kness. I don't care that it's winter. It's not that cold out yet and I won't be outside for very long. I put on some brown flats and a black half-jacket and walk out to the kitchen.

"You look wonderful." Father smiles.

"Thank you, I'll be right back" I say quickly running up the stairs back into my room. I sit at my desk and pull out a pen and paper.

_November 4th(About 6 pm)_

_I arrived at home today. Father is just about to take me out to dinner but I wanted to write a bit first. I had a crazy dream this afternoon(I was tired so I took a nap) Harry was angry with me for not telling him about you. In the end everything was alright. But he thought that out of all people I wold tell him. Since his parents died to. He would understand me better than the test of my friends. I woke up and father was sitting on the edge of my bed with some peppermint tea, I remember that you always brought me that when I wasn't feeling very good or If I was sad. I miss that. _

_I'm only staying for tonight and tomorrow morning. In the afternoon I will be going back to school. I have a histoy of magic exam to write on tuesday and a charms one on wednesday. I really hope I do well. I have been doing quite a bit of studying and work. But I haven't even finshed ready the entire history of magic. I know its alot of extra reading. but I don't know what could be asked on the tests. I've only read five chapter out of forty-five in volume one. There are seventeen voulumes if you are interested each are about 45 chapters._

**Since this is based off of a True story, I really appricate all your feedback. I've gotten a bunch of follows and favourites. I look forward to reading your reveiws all the time. Thank you so much. You Support really means alot to me. (Please feel free to point out any errors, spelling or grammer mistakes. Thank you)**


	6. Father Figure

I walk back down the steps slowly. My father is sitting in the kitchen waiting for me. "Ready to go?' He asks.

I nod a yes. I grab a warmer jacket from the closet and we get into the car and start to drive. My father pulls into the parking lot of a fancy restaraunt where. "This place is new opened up a few weeks after you left for school." He chooses a parking spot and we walk inside.

There are small vases on each table with a candle inside. The walls aren't just painted. They look like small old buildings. Like something you would find in down town New York. Lamposts hang above a few tables. Off too one side of the entrance is a bar, the other side is the main part.

"For two?" A girl asks.

"Yes" My father replies.

We follow the girl to the back of the restaraunt and she seats us in a booth. She hands us the menus. "Can I get you started with anything to drink?"

"Water." Father replies.

"Same" I say.

The girl leaves and my father opens the menu. He stars to look through it. I just sit there staring at mine. Not even bothering to open it.

"Aren't you hungry Hermione?" My father asks me.

"Not really, I haven't eaten anything much these past few days."

He looks over at me. Leaning over the table top slightly. "You have to eat something, otherwise you will get sick."

"I know" I tell him. "My friends say that all the time."

"You should listen to them."

"I should also tell them that my mother died but that doesn't mean that I'm going to!"

"Hermione, pick something from the menu and eat it. I don't care what it is, have anything you like."

I roll my eyes. "Do I haves to?" I ask him.

"Yes." He replies shortly.

The waitress comes to our table with our drinks. She gives us a few more minutes to decide on what we would like to order and comes back. I order Calamari and my father orders some sort of pasta dish. I can't quite remember the name of it. She comes back to our table with the food in about forty minutes.

The plate was bigger than I had hoped. I stare at it, knowing that If I begin, father will most likely make me finish.

"You don't have to eat it all, start with about half alright. Then see how you feel."

I nod and murmer a quick "Thanks" So softly that it is barely audible to my fathers ears. He hears it anyways. "Your welcome" He replies his voice just as soft as mine. I pick a piece of calamari up and dip it into some sauce they brought with it, It tastes of cucumbers.

I take a lemon wedge from the side of the plate and squish it. Watching the sour lemon juice squirt out from the lemon, falling nicely on the small rings of calamari. I put the lemon wedge down and rest my head on the table.

"Hermione, you've only eaten one, aren't you going to eat anything more?" My father asks.

"I will, In a few minutes." I respond.

I watch the clock in the corner of the restaraunt. Five minutes goes by before I turn back to face my plate of calamari. I dip one in the cucumber sauce and pop it into my mouth. I can't remember the last time I had calamari. I really do love it, one of my favourite foods I guess. I pop a few more into my mouth.

"Can I take the rest home?" I ask. "I'll eat it there. I want to leave now" I finish.

My father nods. "Alright, when the waitress comes I'll ask if she can pack it up for us."

I bow my head and rub my eyes. "Are you alright Hermione."Father asks me.

"Yes." I reply. "I'm just really tired. I'll be fine." I assure him.

We our table after the waitress come and packs up our food, my father goes up to the front to pay the bill and we head out to our vehicle. I sit in the passager side and my father drives. "I wan't to show you something." My father tells me.

"what?" I ask. turning to look at him.

"When you first left ,they day you were eleven, on september the first, your mother was very sad we had to let you go. I took her here and we went to go see a film. I took you to the same place once. It was when you were very young, do you remember?"

"No." I reply shaking my head.

"I know that you're tired but, would you like to go to a movie."

"Sure, I smile. That would be nice."

Even though inside I would rather go home. I have to try and connect with my father. I have to make him happy in some way. He parks and we walk into the theater. He walks up to the box office and pays for two tickets. I told him he could choose the movie, so he surprised me. I don't even know what it is yet.

We take our seats and sit quietly. not bothering to converse. Just waiting for the film to begin. "Would you like anything?" My father asks, being the first one of us to break the silence.

"Some water maybe?" I ask in the form of a question.

"Okay...Alright, I'll go get us some drinks, you want to stay here?"

"Yeah alright" I say in response. "I'll stay here and save our seats." I finish smiling back up at him.

My father leaves and makes his way to the back of the theater. I watch as the back door opens and some light shines in through it. After that I turn back around in my seat to face forward. It only takes a few minutes for my father to come back. He hands me my bottled water and put his soda down in the cupholder beside him. I Unscrew the cap of my water and take a few sips. Then put the cap back on the put it in the cupholder.

The film seems to finish in such a short amount of time. I actually enjoyed myself quite a bit. When we get out of the theater I was informed that it was actually two and a half hours. My father and I begin walking back to our vehicle.

"Are you still tired?" He asks me.

"Yeah, a little bit." I reply.

"Hermione, I need to tell you something..."

"What?" I ask.

"You're aunt, uncle and cousin will be coming from canada, we have a funeral planned for tomorrow."

"What! You never told me! How do you expect me to say anything or do anything!"

"Hermione, you don't have to..."

"I know I don't, I've always wanted to though, who is going to give the eulogy?"

"I will, everything is planned, you don't have to do anything?"

"I want to though."

"You want to now, but when we get there you might not."

I nod. "fine, I guess so, I would be too sad to say anything."

I turn back and look out the window. It's dark outside but I can still see everything because of all the lights.

"Hermione, are you going to talk to me?" My father asks.

I stay silent, not wanting to speak about anything. "Hermione" he calls again. "Are you going to talk to me?" He asks, a little more sternly this time.

"I don't feel like talking." I respond shortly, in an annoyed tone.

We don't speak to each other for the remainder of the trip home. As soon as he pulls up into the driveway I get out of the car, I don't even wait for him to open the door. I take my own key out of my bag and use it to open the door. I don't leave the door open for my father. Instead I slam it shut. I run up to my bedroom and sit at the desk. One letter Hermione I think to myself. One more letter and then you can go to sleep.

I take out my writing set from the top drawer in my desk.

_November 4th(Late evening)_

_Tonight father took me out for dinner, it was pretty eventful. We didn't talk very much. I hardly ate anything,yes I do know it is bad for me not to eat. Father told me that already. My friends have been telling me. I don't know if you care but I had some calamari tonight, father ate some sort of pasta dish that I forget the name of. _

_After supper father took me to the theater that you and him went to a lot. He also tells me that the both of you took me to the theater when I was very young, five I think. I enjoyed myself at the theater tonight. It was probably one of the only times that I had have been happy in a long time. _

_But the happy night didn't last to long. When the movie ended and my father and I were walking back to our car. He told me something I wasn't ready for. Something I thought he would have told me a long time ago. Or at least when I had first arrived back home. He told me that my aunt, uncle and cousin were coming from Canada. I have not even met these people once in my life! How am I supposed to sympathize with them. They probably have no clue who I even am. That isn't even the worst part. He told me that the funeral will be tomorrow. TOMORROW. Are you aware he didn't even give me twenty four hours to prepare._

_What if I wanted to say something? What if I wanted to do something. I guess father was never really the planner in the family. You and I planned alot of things before I left to go to school over in scotland. I really miss you. I hope the sevice doesn't turn into a disaster. That would be horrible. I really wish that I could have done something. Put a video together even. I guess father told me that I would be too sad to say anything. I shouldn't have freaked out at him like that. I'm sorry mother. I really wanted to do something. But I guess that these letters are enough. Just to make sure you get them I will put a copy of each one that I have written so far with you. I really, really miss you. Thinking of you mother, with love_

_Hermione_

I send the letter off. Then go back downstairs to meet and apologize to my father.


	7. Friends and Family

**Day Six of NaNoWriMo, Barely got the chapter out. But I just had too! If your wondering 11,706 words so far. Wish me luck!**

"I'm sorry for getting angry at you." I apologize as a walk down the steps and into the kitchen.

"It's alright Hermione..." Father replies not bothering to even look up at me.

"Father." I say sitting down at the table beside him. "Are you alright?" I ask.

"I'm fine Hermione, go back upstairs or something, I need to make a few phone calls. Your aunt and uncle will be arriving, sometime around one or two tonight."

"Fine" I sigh loudly in frustration.

"Hermione, tomorrow at five is the service alright afterwards there will be a small supper." He calls after me.

"ALRIGHT!" I snap. Dang it, I just can't seem to stop getting angry with him. This was supposed to be a good night. This was supposed to be a nice visit. Now I have to wait up till around one or two with my father to wait for three relatives I never recall seeing in my life. Great, tonight will be just a wonderful time.

"HERMIONE!" My father yells. "HERMIONE, GET OVER HERE NOW!"

"What." I yell back. "What could you possibly need now..." I say walking into the kitchen. I stare wided-eyed at what stands before me. Harry and Ron have found me, and they claim they know everything.

"Hey Hermione." Harry smiles sweetly.

I gulp, feeling a lump in my throat. "You have to leave now." I say.

"Hermione, we want to talk with you." Ron tells me.

"I'm not in the mood to talk." I reply walking in the direction of my room.

Harry and Ron follow closely behind me. I slam the door in their faces and lock it.

"HERMIONE, you open this door right now!" Harry yells.

"No thank you, you've said enough, you can leave now." I say.

"Hermione, we know everything." Ron says. "Just open the door, you can't avoid this forever."

"I can avoid it for however long I want."

I hear my father come up the steps. "I'll unlock the door" I hear him say. Soon the door opens and my friends come in. I turn around so I won't see their faces. Harry and Ron come around and sit beside me.

"Hermione, don't be so difficult. We only want to help you." Harry tells me.

"I know." I reply. "I feel bad, you already do so much for me, how could I ask anymore from you."

Harry wraps his arms tighly around me. "You do so much more for us." He says.

I sigh. "I never wanted you too find out this way. How did you get here anyways. It's so late."

"We snuck out." Ron says.

I look at them like they have done something terribly wrong. "You, did what?" I question sounding surprised but angry at the same time.

"Hermione, we heard and we needed to see you." Harry tells me.

"Harry, I understand you want to be here for me, I don't know if I'm ready to talk yet." I say solemly.

"Alright, if you don't want to talk, we won't talk about it. We can talk about something else."

I nod "Thank you" I murmer quietly.

"So, what would you like to talk about"

"I don't know" I say shaking my head.

"we could talk about exams, if thats what you really want" Ron suggests.

"No, we can talk about whatever, we don't always have to talk about school." I say sweetly. "I know that you two don't really enjoy talking about that too much, I do talk about it a lot."

Harry smiles at me. "Hermione, do want to go back with us?"

"No, I can't there is a service tomorrow, you can stay here if you like. If you don't want to stay for the service you can leave in the morning."

"We can stay. We'll stay for you Hermione."

"Thank you Harry." I reply. Clasping my hands together.

"Oh, come on, you know you want a hug..." Harry replies.

I laugh, as Harry comes a little closer to me. Holding me in his arms. "You'll be alright" He whispers softly in my ear. I wipe a tear from the corner of my eye and let a small sniffle escape. "You're alright Hermione" Harry assures . "You're going to be just fine." He says a little softer.

"It's late, I'll show you to the guestrooms." I tell Harry and Ron as I get up and walk towards the door. Both guestrooms are beside each other. They are actually next door to me. "Just here" I say as we walk out of my bedroom. I open both doors and Harry and Ron each walk into one room.

"I'm not supposed to go to bed until my aunt and uncle get here, It'll be around one or two, so if you would like to go to sleep now thats fine, come see me if you need anything." I state.

"It's alright, we can stay up with you Hermione."

I wipe a couple stray tears from my eyes."Thanks."

We talk for a while we realize that Its already midnight. "Two more hours then" I say sighing in frustration. "Why can't I just meet them in the morning."

"Hermione! I'm going to pick your aunt, uncle and cousin up at the airport, Im leaving I'n an hour, are you going to come?"

"No thanks." I yell back down at him. "I can just wait here." I finish.

Harry and Ron both look at me. "Do you know these people?" Ron asks. "Your aunt,uncle and cousin."

"No, I reply. My father told me that my cousins name is Alexandra and she would be twenty now. My father isn't sure about my aunt and uncles ages but their names are Everleigh and Cason. I don't ever recall seeing them in my life."

"I need to study." Harry said. "I think I'll go back to my room for a little bit."

"No, I can study too, stay here. Ron are you going to stay. We all have exams tuesday."

"Yeah alright Hermione. I can stay."

About an hour passes before father gets home with my Aunt and Uncle. "Hello" I call from upstairs.

"Hermione, come down here."

I walk down the steps. Harry and Ron follow slowly behind me. "Hey." I say as I reach the bottom step.

"Hello, Hermione." My aunt responds.

"Oh, I forgot completely. We only have two guestrooms... There is a couch in my bedroom, if one of you would like to sleep there." I turn around to address Harry and Ron.

"Harry can sleep on the couch. I'll sleep on the floor." Ron tells me. "No worries"

I smile at the both of them. I begin to feel a little better a little happier on the inside. Knowing I have great friends, great friends who loves me and are always there for me. No matter what.

"I think we should all get to bed" I say. "Harry, Ron, you know the way." Harry and Ron lead us back up to my bedroom. Harry makes himself comfortable on the couch. "I'll be right back" I walk downstairs and pull the air matress out from the storage room.

I use plug the pump into the wall and wait for the air matress to fill up. After about ten minutes I turn the pump off and walk back up to my room. "I brought you an air matress Ron" I say.

"Thanks Hermione" He smiles.

"I'll go get some pillows and blankets from the closet in the hallway."

I return only a few seconds later with two pillows and some blankets. I give them to both of my friends. I crawl into bed and shut off my bedside lamp. "Goodnight Harry, Goodnight Ron."

"Night Hermione" They say in unison. After that they say it to each other.

I relize I haven't written anything to my mother. I quietly climb out of bed and walk to my desk turning on the other small lamp I have in my room.

_Novmber 5th(Wow already still feels like the forth to me)_

_It's very late at night here. Past two I think. After father and I finished supper he took me to a flim. It was nice. I did apologize, but then other things just came up and I felt bad for getting angry again. _

_So now my friends are here. They found out who knows how! I haven't told them about much I said I really didn't want to talk about it. So we talked about other things. They don't know about the letters either, if they did they just might think that I'm a little bit crazy. They have to stay here. Not just here in the house. But here in my room. Harry is on the couch and Ron volunteered to take the floor so I brought up the air matress for him._

_Tomorrow during the service they said that they would stay with me. I'm really happy that they agreed to stay, Even if i deny it I guess that I really do need them. They are such amazing people. I'm really lucky to have them._

_Our aunt, uncle and cousin are here, I don't even know if they are your family mother or part of fathers family. You do remember their names though right. Alexandra is the daughter, they say that she's about twently. Everleigh and carson are the parents. Father didn't tell me how old they are. Why is it that middle aged people are so self-conscious about their ages.I'm not like that when people ask me it's like a normal simple question. Fifteen years old._

_Anyways as I had told you before is super early here. I don't want to chance keeping up Harry and Ron and have them find out that I'm writting and sending letters to you. Keep yourself healthy and well mom. Both me and father miss you and love you very much. All the best._

_Hermione._

**Thanks for all the favourites follows and Reviews. I really love to read them. Thanks a bunch! I love you all! 3 So great! Keep on keeping On.**

**Hugs**

**HarmonyG**


	8. Heart to Heart

**I Wanted to sleep today. But I had to write...NaNoWriMo. Any words of inspiration?**

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"Hermione, you're still up?" Harry questions. "What are you doing at your desk, I hope you're not staying up late again with schoolwork."

"No, I just can't sleep, I like to think here, write down my thoughts."

Harry gets up from the couch and walks over to me. "It's nearly past three now... You should try and get some sleep."

I nod breathing in deeply. "I just can't sleep Harry, I'm too tired, sad, lonely."

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks me.

"No." I shake my head. "In the morning."

I get up and walk over to my bed. Harry sits on the edge. "Don't worry Hermione, everything will turn out alright, I promise that you will be fine"

*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*

I wake up to find Harry next to me, we both fell alseep in my bed last night, Good thing my father didn't come in yet...

"Harry" I whisper sternly. "Harry GET UP." I say shoving him. "HARRY, WAKE UP" I yell.

"Hermione?" He questions.

"Yes, you fell asleep in my bed last night."

He looks at me. "Guess I did, sorry."

"Yeah, you're just lucky my father didn't come to wake us up yet." I tell him as a throw a pillow in his face. "Now help me make the bed again, and wake up Ron."

"RON." Harry yells. "GET UP." He says throwing the pillow at him.

I roll my eyes and shake my head. "Nice" I say.

"Hermione!" My father yells. "Breakfast is ready."

Harry looks at me, Ron gets up from his bed. "That i'll get up for" Ron says walking like a zombie out the door. "Alright, lets go." The three of us walk into the kitchen. Eggs, bacon and french toast are set out on the table. A plate of fruit, Raspberries, strawberries and blueberries. Syrup and whipcream. A tub of butter and place settings are also present. THE remaining four of us take a seat at the table. My aunt uncle and cousin are already seated at the table.

Ron piles his plate with food. Harry and my father take normal amount of everything. I Take half a slice of french toast two starwberries and fill a glass not even half full with some juice.

"Is that all you're going to eat Hermione?" Ron asks.

"She never eats anything Ron." Harry tells him. "She's been like that for a week."

"I will eat when I want to!"

"You will eat something now Hermione, Your mother would not want you getting sick."

"Stop bringing her into this, you can't use that for everything!"

I walk back up to my bedroom leaving the plate untouched. I sit on my bed and stare out the window. I hear foorsteps on the stairs. Great I think, who is going to come and bother me now.

"Hermione." I hear a soft voice call. I turn aruond. "Alex?" I say. She nods.

"Aren't you going to eat with the rest of us?" She asks.

"I just can't eat anything. I feel full all the time, i'm never hungry."

"I went through something like that too, you will feel better soon. But you have to start eating. Everybody here cares about you. We don't want you getting sick, you know how hard it must be for your father to see you like this? He already lost so much. He can't afford to lose more."

I nod. "I understand, But I feel sick when I eat."

"Trust me, you will only get sick if you don't you might feel sick for a while, but the feeling will go away, now will you come back downstairs and eat with us?' Alex asks.

I go along with Alex, I eat all the food that I had placed on my plate. After I finished Alex gave me a look which I took as one of thoses 'You have to eat more' looks that I have been getting lots of lately. I eat the other half of my french toast and take a few more spoonfulls of friuts. After everybody is finished eating I help my father put everything away and clean up a bit. Alex starts doing the dishes and Harry and Ron sit at the table silently waiting for something to do.

"Why don't we just go upstairs" I suggest to the two of them. Both nod and we head back to my room silently not speaking to each other. I sit on the bed. Harry sits beside me and Ron walks right over to the couch and closes his eyes. Harry takes a pillow off the bed and throws it at him.

"This is not the time to go back to sleep Ron!" Harry says.

"You want to talk now Hermione, you promised last night we would talk."

I sigh. "I did, didn't I, well then what do you want to know?" I ask him.

"Do you know how she died?"

"No, father knows and he won't tell me, he says that she wasn't sick, she didn't do it herself. I don't know how, I think somebody may have killed her though. Somebody that even ment to kill me, I was supposed to go home for her birthday, I didn't"

" Don't think that it's your fault Hermione..." Harry states.

"I do though, I think about that all the time, What if it is my fault, It very well could be, If I had come home it might have even been me instead."

"Who do you think killed her?"

"Somebody from the magic world I guess... Somebody that wanted to get to me, or us." I was silent for a minute then I realized something, something that was probably very important.

"Harry, Ron you have to leave, you have to go back, right now!" I say.

"Hermione, what happened, whats wrong."  
"Nothing yet, but something bad could happen, what if this was set up, what if they wanted me to come home, so you would follow soon afterwards, there aren't any protective spells around my house!"

"Why not! They want you dead just as much as they want me dead, and Ron's house even has the protective enchatments"

"You are Harry Potter, he is a wizarding family. My parents are muggles, I don't matter as much as you two do the the magical community, to them i'm just another muggleborn witch who really doesn't belong."

Harry sighs. "Come on, we can't leave you Hermione, we promised that we would stay with you. Isn't that what you want?" Harry questions.

"I did, but the both of you need to keep safe"

"We will be safe, stop worrying about it Hermione, we'll come with you and then all three of us can go back to school tomorrow."

"I guess so..."

Harry wraps his arms around me and squeezes me tightly. "Don't worry Hermione, we'll be here for you. Don't push us away." He whispers softly. "It's alright to be sad, but not forever."

"Thank you" I whisper back as a wrap my arms around him. "I'm going to be just fine." A few moments later Ron walks over and squeezes the both of us.

"Don't leave me out. I care about Hermione too." Ron says, I laugh.

"Please don't leave me, I was wrong to tell you to leave, I really do need you." I whisper.

I look up at the clock. "We don't have to be there until four-thirty, its only eleven, we could go do something, theres a park nearby, we can go for a walk."

"Sure Hermione, we can do whatever you would like."

We get changed, put our coats on and I tell my dad that the three of us are going for a walk. I lead them a few blocks down. Its already about a ten minute walk to get to the park. As we arrive I see the lake, and the trees, the little play area for the children.

"My mother and father used to take me here" I say stopping in the middle of the pathway. We would sit right under that tree over there, the big one on the other side of the lake. We would bring food and have a picnic. In the winter they would bring me over to that hill. And we would bring out the little sled that I had. In the spring we would come and walk, or in the fall. Sometimes father would take me fishing during fishing season.

"Do you want to go somewhere else Hermione." Harry asks.

"Yeah, Maybe that would be better, theres a little cafe about twenty minutes from here."

It seems like only seconds before we get there though. Ron pushes the door and holds it open for the both of us. Harry does the same for the next one. I walk in and sit at a table. All of us order the same thing, tea.

I sigh, sinking into the back of my seat. "I hope that the weeks start to go by fast, I want life to get back to normal."

"Me too Hermione, I can't stand to see you so sad." Harry says. "It's much worse for you than it was for me. I never knew my mother, but you knew yours."

I smile, knowing inside it's still far worse on him that it has been on me. Then again, it's all of us. We are all being hunted. People are planning things against Harry Potter... and anybody who comes in their way. Meaning Ron and I. It's not just one of us. Its all of us.

After fifteen minutes we decide that it would be best for all of us to go back home. Hopefully we could find something entertaining to do there. Walking in the front door and heading right up to my room. I guess that has become our new favourite hang out place, somewhere that we can be in private. To discuss things about magical life without people hearing us. without anybody else inturpting...

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**Hope you liked it. Since this is NaNoWriMo.. anybody got any words of inspiration? That would be greatly appriciated. Thanks!**


	9. Friendly Fued

_November 5th(Afternoon)_

_So far Father has made one really nice breakfast. I was going to eat a bit but then I left. Alex, my cousin, she's twenty and I guess her full name is alexandra. She came up to my room and told me about how important I am and How I should eat because you would never have wanted me to end up sick like this. She told me that she has been through something very similar to what I am going through. Although she never did end up telling me what it was about. She did tell me that she too felt like I do now. Sad, depressed not eating alot. She assured me that My appetite would come back soon and I would be eating like a normal person eats once again. _

_And I didn't even tell you! OMG but I'm sure you do know. When I wrote your letter last night I guess that I woke Harry up. He is staying here by the way. He was assuring me that everything would be alright after a while. Things will just need some getting used to. He sort of fell asleep beside me. It was late mother and we were both tired. Father doesn't know not that its even a big deal anyways. This was before the breakfast thing though._

_We had a conversation about all this magic stuff and that It might even be my fault that you are gone. If somebody killed you whoever did it might have intended to kill me instead and not you. I just feel so bad all the time mother I can't even begin to think if it was my fault. I would be angry with myself for the rest of my life. I can't imagine living with myself it would just be too hard. Harry keeps assuring me that its not my fault it never was and never will be. I told them that they should leave or rather that they had to leave and that I wouldn't be coming with them. It's not because I didn't want them to stay here and be with me. It was because I was worried about them. What If people came for them to take them away._

_What if people were going to try and come here to kill the three of us. If they did and Harry and Ron were here all three of us would die rather than just me. I would much rather have it that way. I would die for my friends. They insisted that they had to stay though. They wouldn't even consider leaving as if it were not even an option. As much as I want them to leave me and be safe back a hogwarts I really do need them here with me. They said that as soon as everything was over we could leave back for school and all three of us would be safe again. But I worry about father too. Who will stay and comfort him? Who will be there for him? I can't, as much as I want to we have exams and I will have to return to scotland soon to go back to school. Please be with him and comfort him. Keep him safe for me mother. I couldn't even begin to imagine losing another one of you. It would just be too terrible for me. Much to terrible._

_Harry and Ron and I went for a walk to the park. You remember the park that we always went to in the winter to go sledding in the summer to have a picnic under the big tree by the lake. I couldn't be there anymore. Although it did have lots of good memories it only brought back the bad ones. We walked a little further. I guess it took around twenty more minutes. We had soon snacks and some tea we talked about things for a bit before we retuned back home. When we got there we found out that nobody was in the house it was quite strange. I'm not sure what to do right now Harry and Ron are talking on the couch while I write this. I hope father, everliegh, Carson and Alex will be back soon for now the three of us can just hang out I guess we won't have to get ready for a while yet. Best wishes to you mother. Take care and watch over father for me while Im gone._

_Hermione_

"Hermione! What are you doing" Harry asks

"Writing" I reply.

"Will you be done soon?" Ron asks.

"Yeah, fine I'm done okay, what do you need."

"I'm bored" He replies.

"Were all bored Ron." I say strictly rolling my eyes at him. "find something to do."

"This is your house, what do you do for fun in the summer?"

"I read, or study."

"Figures." Ron whispers.

I glare down at him with Icy eyes. "Oh shut up" I tell him. "I was going to say. I also do things outside, like swimming and summer activities that we can't do now!"

"And for christmas?" He asks.

"You should know, I'm always with you and my parents go skiing."

Ron sighs. "Sorry Hermione, I'm just so bored, can't we find anything to do."

"We could study."

"But, Hermione..."

"No whining, we have an exam tomorrow, do you want to fail."

"No... But..."

"Then Lets study" I say cutting him off.

We study for a bit and I realize that Harry may be ready to take this exam, I know I'm ready I've studdied everything and more. But one thing I forsure Ron is nowhere near ready for the exam. I know that he and Harry both find History of Magic boring but they have to study and work hard if they want to do good later on in life. If they want to get a good job. If they want to survive in the real world.

"Hermione, can we stop now, I'm hungry when can we eat lunch." Ron whines.

"You and Harry can eat something now, I'm noy hungry though so I won't be eating anything."

"She's never hungry" I hear Ron whisper quietly as possible to Harry.

I look around in the fridge for something to eat. I can't find much. We have bread, and cheese, soup, not much but I guess enough for some lunch. I make some soup on the stove while Harry and Ron both make some sandwhiches. It only takes fifteen minutes before we all sit around the table.

"I made you one too Hermione, you better eat it."

"I told you when we were upstairs that I'm not going to eat anything. I'm not hungry."

"Hermione listen, your body is hungry, your brain is just telling you not to eat. You need to eat something. Eating right helps you maintain your health and helps you learn"

"Good job Harry, I can see you paid attention in Year 3 health class."

"Hermione, come on. Eat something, anything, well this I guess because thats all we have at the moment. But Really, stop being to stubborn. You are so smart, and you know it, you know what will happen if you don't eat. Yet you still ignore the fact that you have to! Be reasonable."

"Harry. Believe me I don't want to end up like the people who never eat. But Lately I just can't start being supportive instead of trying to shove food down my throat!"

"We are being as supportive as possible! What are we supposed to say! Don't eat, because you don't feel like it?"

I look at him glaring. "Whatever, you two can finish lunch, I am going to study some more up in my room. Don't feel like you need to check on me. I'll owl Mcgonagall and tell her that you're here and she is to send for you!"

"HERMIONE" Harry calls. "Hermione wait, stop!"

"What" I snap, "What is it now!"

"Don't do that You're right we should be more supportive."

"What are you doing!" Ron whispers.

"You'll see" Harry whispers back.

"Fine, but I'm not coming back down, finish up and then if you still want to talk come up here."

I walk back up to my room and sit at my desk. My friends are still down in the kitchen eating lunch. I don't know when they'll be finished. I return to studying. _Volume seven, Chapter Four pages one hundred to two hundred and six: The Entire History of The Magical differnce of creatures and wizards. _I sigh as I open the book, usually I like to study ususally it is an enjoyable activity for me. But History of Magic has so much reading in it. Iove to read. Just not the Entire history. From the plants and Rocks they saw to the things they were wearing back then. The places the lived and everything inbetween. Not exactly facinating. _Did you know that princess Rosaline Maire was allergic to carnations. _Yes, these books are VERY imporatant to the History of magic. Fun...

I hear Harry and Ron coming up the stairs. The door is locked. I hear them knocking. "Hermione! Open the door!" Ron yells.

I groan, I'd would much rather just sit here, rest, not get up. "Hermione NOW" Harry yells. I roll my eyes as I'm forced to get up to go and unlock the door for both Harry and Ron. What do you guys need? It's going to be time to get ready soon."

"Hermione, we don't have to be there until Four thirty. We can leave at four and we'll get ready at Three-thirty. It's only one."

I sigh "Then what do you want to do, certainly if we go back and study neither of you will even pay attention!"


	10. Unexpected Events

**Back with Day 8 and Chapter 10! Hope you guys enjoy this one. As far as this story goes it will most likey be revisted in the New year or in decmeber! For Now Enjoy!**

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I give in and open the door.

"Hermione..." Harry paused for a sceond. He puts his hand on my shoulder. "Stop, you need to calm down, take a break, rest sweetheart." He finishes.

"Harry, I..."

"Rest Hermione" Harry interupts.

I nod, sighing heavily and walking over to my bed. Harry closes the curtains and walks over to me. "when do you want us to wake you up?"

"Two thirty maybe?" I say questioning myself a little bit.

"Sure, call if you need me. Ron and I will be downstairs. Don't worry about anything, get some rest and you'll feel better." He says looking down at me. I nod and turn over in the bed so that my head is facing the window instead of him. "Sleep well Hermione." I hear him whisper as he leaves the room and the door closes.

I feel tired, I want to sleep. But all the events are just keeping me up. I cough once, and then again. I try to make myself stop but I can't, it takes about two minutes befor Harry comes upstairs with water.

"Hey, what's wrong" He says softly.

I can't speak so I just find myself coughing again. He hands me the water. "You alright?" I shake my head 'no' in response and cough again. I taste blood im my mouth. Harry looks frightened. "Hermione..."

I shake my head again and shurg my shoulders. "I don't Know." I manage to say my voice quiet and raspy.

"Let's get you downstairs or something."

I cough again and the taste of blood comes back. I lean over of Harry for support as he tries to drag me down the steps. It takes a while before we are sitting back on the couch. Ron is holding me while Harry goes to the kitchen to use the phone and is trying to contact my father.

"Hermione. Whats wrong" Ron says concerned.

I shake my head again and cough.

"Harry." Ron yells. "Hurry, she's getting worse."

picks up the phone. "Hello." Hey says.

"This is Harry."

"Yes.."

"Something is wrong with Hermione."

"What do you mean?"

"She can't stop coughing, for like half an hour and she keeps coughing up blood and I... I don't know what to do."

"I'm coming" He says sounding worried. The phone clicks off imediately on his end.

Harry returns to me and Ron and sits with us on the couch. "Your father is coming, Hang in there." He smiles. I smile back. "I'll be okay"

"Try not to talk." Ron says. "You're going to make it worse." I nod my head in agreement. Only five minutes later my father comes in the door. He walks right over to me. My cousin and Aunt and Uncle follow closely behind him. He bends down in front of me.

"Hermione, what happened." He asks. I shake my head. "Whats wrong with her, can't she speak?" He turns his head to look at my friends.

"She can, we told her not to, It might make things worse." Ron says.

My Father looks back over at me. "Get your coats and get in the car." He says pointing at the three of us.

Harry and Ron grab my coat for me and help me in the car. We all sit in the back and they are both holding onto me, helping to support me.

"Where are we going?" Ron asks.

Harry looks at him. "Where do you think were going! To somebody that can help her!"

Ron rolls his eyes. "Sorry." He says crossing his arms. My body resting entirely by Harry who is not the lone supporter of me.

Look we arrive at the hospital. I've told my father about it before and I'm surprised he remembered. Wizards and Witches have a hospital. Even Harry and Ron look surprised. We park and get out. I hope Harry and Ron remember how to get in because I can't speak. I cough again. Harry alerts my father. They support me on the way in. Somebody comes over to see to us and leads us down a hallway, one that looks like it never ends.

"Just in this room here"

She takes one look at me. "What seems to be the problem?"

I feel like coughing so i cover my mouth and do so. When I take it away I look worried. Still coughing up all that damn blood. "I see."

She looks at me uses some spells I've never heard of before. "It seems there is lots of bleeding in your throat. We can easily fix it, We'll find you a room and and tend to you in about an hour" she turns over to my father and friends. "That is the earliest we can fit her in, don't worry some nurses will be there to watch her while we wait for the healers to come."

She shows us to our room. "My name is Analeigh Jacobs" She nods at us as she leaves the room. "I'll have two people come into the room in a while." Analeigh leaves and not five minutes later two nurses come into the room.

"Hello." They say In unison. "I'm Tara, and this is Irene."

I nod as I look at both of them, we'll be here until they are slotted to take you in alright? Don't worry, we've seen this before, you should be alright!" They almost sound happy in every word they say. I'm still sitting up. I want to lay down and sleep so badly. But I've been told to stay sitting or standing upright at all times until they have finished with the procedure. Harry come over and sits beside me. I Shut my eyes tighly and hug my stomach as I feel a sudden pain there.

"Hermione, are you sure that you're alright."

"Not, really." I says sniffling. "My stomach hurts like hell.

"It's because you haven't eaten anything." Ron states.

I watch as Harry shoots him a dirty look. That sure shut Ron up as he proceeded to turn and look the other way.

"I'm going to call somebody" Irene says. "We can't chance anything, she needs to be looked at now."

Irene leaves the room, now only leaving Tara with us and walks away. It takes almost half an hour before she comes back with anybody. "Here he is he can see you now."

"Hello, My name is Claudette Orion, let's see if we can figure out what happened?"

Harry approached her and started to speak, she has been complaining about some stomach pains lately and she's been coughing a lot, sometimes she coughs up blood, she doesn't speak either, I've been telling her it might make whatever this is worse. Her throat has been sore too."

"I see, I suspect that there may be bleeding in the stomach and thats probably where the blood has been coming from, she is probably just has a sore thorat because of all the coughing, I'll take her to one of the exam rooms to see what it is forsure though."

I get up off the bed and force myself into a standing position. I feel like im going to fall. Like my feet are being pulled from underneath me. Harry reacts and run over to catch me before I do actually fall. I smile up at him. "Thanks" I whisper. He looks at me and shakes his head. "Don't speak." He tells me softly. I nod in reply. _'No I probably shouldn't speak' _I think. Claudette walks in front of me and Harry as she leads us up to a room not far from mine.

"Sit down" she instructs pointing to an exaination table. I go and sit down just like she asked. Harry takes a spot on one of the three other chairs. Claudette casts a few spells that I've haven't learnt yet.

"Ok,So what I happened before, is true."

I shoot a worried look over at Harry. Claudette only laughs. "Don't worry. It'll be fine. Won't take long at all to fix." She smiles.

"stay here"

Claudette leaves the room for a few minutes and comes back within only a few minutes. She hands me a small bottle of potion. It looks awful. I turn my nose up at it. "I have to drink that..."

"After the procedure, it might take an hour or two at the most. I think we can fit you in now, are you alright with that?"

I nod a quick yes. "You may go back to the room and wait. I'll take her from here."

I watch as Harry leaves me. Claudette seems to be quite calm. "I'll give this back once we are done." She says taking the potion from beside me where I had placed it only moments ago. She leads me further down the hallway and stops. "Just right in here." She says. Stoping in front of Proudure room seven. I walk in. "Will i be awake" I ask.

"No, We can use a spell that will make you fall asleep."

I nod and shrug. She waits until I'm sitting down and uses the spell I recognize to make people sleep. It seems like only seconds later I wake up to somebody softly calling my name.

"Hermione, Hermione, Hermione"

My eyes flutter open. I try to speak but can't. I look up at him worried. "You're alright Hermione, they used a spell on you so you wouldn't be able to speak. 'Damn sensory charm.' I think to myself. Harry turns over and grabs a pen and paper off the bedside table.

"Write what you want to say on here, the charm will wear of in 72 hours. I look at him wide eyes.

"72 HOURS!" I write in capital letters. Harry laughs. "Don't laugh at me!" I write. glaring at him.

"Calm down Hermione."

I look at him. "Whatever" I write.

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**I like that last line, :) Don't know if it fits but I thought it was cute. Anyways Back to the writing!**

**-Hamony**

**16,662 words. (your words of inpiration are much appriciated. Thank you!)**


	11. Friendly Support

**Back with Chapter 11! Not my favorite I have to say, but I think It's alright! enjoy!**

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I look around for a while and notice my father isn't there.

_"Where is my father." I write._

"He went to your mothers funeral, he'll be back around seven. He wanted you to come but they couldn't re schedual and you're just to sick."

I look down at my feet. Putting the pen and paper down I try to get off the bed and fall. "Hermione!" Harry shouts concerned. I pick up the pen and paper.

_"I can't walk." _

"No, I guess not, stay in bed." Harry tells me.

_"I don't want to. I want to get out of here, I want to be with my father!"_

"You will be, in a little bit, In the meantime why don't you just sleep until supper."

_"I won't eat anything." I write_

"Do you want to leave?" I ask her.

_"yes!"I write back in response._

"If you don't eat they won't allow you to leave, Hermione... you have to help yourself get better. If you don't eat this will happen again! Do you want that?"

_"No, but i'm NEVER hungry Harry, ever... Not even a little bit." _

Harry sighs and moves to sit right beside me on the bed. I look away from him. So instead I face the window just above the bed. "Hermione, look at me." He says trying to get my attention. "Hermione!" He shouts again. "Don't shut me out, you can't do that. I care about you a whole lot and you can't just leave me alone. I need you."

I look back at him for a moment with sad eyes. I feel cold, sad, lonely. I can't speak. I feel sick. I AM sick, I won't eat, not because I don't want to, not because I want to be skinny, because I feel sick everytime I eat anything. Ever since that day. October Twenty-Ninth. I look over at Harry. He seems to look concerned again... I pick up the pen and paper from beside me and start to wrire. I show it to him_"I'm sorry Harry, I need you too, don't leave me."_

"Never." He smiles. "I will never leave you."

"Harry" Rons voice comes from a little ways away. "What floor did you say the tea room was on?"

"Forth I think." Harry replies. He turns back over to me and grabs my hand. "When they bring you food, at least try to eat something, anything... You need it Hermione, you're so small.

It doesn't matter, I think. Nobody is going to be able to help me fix this. I'll never eat again. I won't live very long if that happens. I won't ever feel better. I'll be sick for the rest of my life. However much of it I have left.

"Hermione, what's wrong" Harry asks. "You look depressed, be happy, you not sick anymore."

_"I will alway be sick, I don't think that I'll get better. Harry what if I end up dying?"_

"Hermione! All you have to do is eat, you have to make yourself better, we've told you this before."

_"I know and I've told you that I can't!"_

"We need to ask somebody about this, Ron I'm going to find somebody that can help us. Stay here with her."

So Harry leaves me with Ron, who doesn't end up speaking a word. Talk about akward silences. Somebody brings me something to eat. I leave it on the corner of the table, not bothering to touch it. Harry come back with a woman half and hour later.

"Hemione, this is Carrie-Anne White, she is the specialist for anorexics."  
I frown looking at Harry.

_"Im not anorexic Harry!" _

"Okay Hermione, but you're not eating and she might be able to find a reason why."

I nod. _"fine" I write. "Whatever you want." _

Personally what I want is to go back to sleep. I don't want people looking at me. Trying ot find out what is wrong with me or what I need to do to get better. If I feel sick when I eat, I just won't eat. I'm going to make myself even worse that way. There is nothing that I hate more than being here, getting sick and people coming up to me wishing that I would feel better or trying to help me. Because I am perfectly capable of handling myself!

Carrie-Anne comes over to look at me. She tells me I weigh 75 pounds, "damn" I think. She tells me that I have a type of Anorexia, sometimes caused by trauma or tramatic/saddening events. "Does that sound right ."

I nod slightly. _"Yes, my mother passed" I write._

"Yes, something like that will do it, so were going to start trying to eat again. Small amounts at first and we'll work up to a normal portion size. If you have any problems please contact me at a later time."

Carrie-Anne leaves the room, Only me Harry and Ron remain. I rest my head on my hand. Feeling melancholy. Sad, depressed.

_"I can't believe I missed my mothers funeral Harry, do you think she'll hate me?" _

"No, Hermione no. The few times I saw your mother I can see that she loved you very much. You were sick, she won't hate you. I promise. It's six thirty. Your father will be back soon."

I want to be alone. I want to be alone. I want to be alone. I repeat over and over in my head. I don't have to heart to tell (or write) my friends that I don't want them to be here. They need to go back. They need to be at school and learn. They need to get away from me. They don't need me. They need to do what will help them. Helping won't benefit them. They need to leave this place and go back to school. There are plenty of other people who can take care of me here. They need to do what is important for them.

_"You two have to go back to school" I write_

"No Hermione, we need to stay with you, you're important to us."

_"My father will take care of me, go"_

"Hermione... I want to stay with you."

I shake my head, crying and looking away as I write. _"But you can't, you are already risking so much to be here now."_

"whats a few more days." He says.

_"I guess so, you have three days, that's it, if I have to stay longer, I want you to go back to school." _

I start to write to my mother. Something I feel I haven't done in a while.

_November 5th (Late evening)_

_I'm at the Hospital now. Let me tell you the whole story of how I got here though. I was getting angry with my friends. Harry told me I was probably just over tired and conviced me to rest and sleep for a little while. I don't reacall it but I think I slept for a little bit. I woke up to a lot of coughing and Harry brought me some water after a couple of minutes. I couldn't stop and he saw that I coughed up a little blood. He called father and they took me here. They did a few procudures and exams on me to try and figure out exactly what happened. They did a procudure on me and now I can't speak for seventy-two hours, or three days. The time I've allowed my friends to stay. After that they have to leave and go to school no matter what._

_They have also figured out that all of this is caused my Anorexia, now I know I told you that I wasn't an Anorexic, this particular type of Anorexia is caused by trauma of tramatic/Saddening events. So you can see where all of this is coming from. Father should be back in about twenty minutes or so. He is at your funeral and I am so sorry that I couldn't be there. I feel really bad. Ron and Harry agree that you wouldn't be mad about it. That I couldn't be there because according to them I am Very sick. anyways mother. Best wishes._

_Hermione. _

"Hermione, Your father is here."

"Hey, how are you?" My father asks sitting down beside me. I don't say anything, I can't. my father turns to Harry. "Can't she speak?" He asks sounding worried.

"Now for seventy-two hours, they put a sensory charm on her too make sure she stays silent."

_"I hate this" I write._

Harry comes over to see what I had written. "I know you do, it's not for much longer though, you can last a little longer."

I breathe in deeply. Taking in as much oxygen in as possible before exhaling slowly though my mouth. I nod. _"Yeah, I'll be okay" I write on the little pad of paper. _

I hear an annoucment come over the intercoms. _"Attention All Visitors please make your way out, visiting hours are now over and will resume at 11:00am tomorrow morning. Thank you and have a great day"_

I look over at Harry panicked. I don't want them to leave. I want them to stay here with me. I don't want to be alone. I hate being alone. I realize now that I really need my friends. I need to hear their voices I need to hear their encouragements. I need to have their support.

"Don't worry Hermione, we'll be back right at 11:00 try to sleep in, we'll be back before you even notice that we're gone." Harry hugs me and so does Ron and my father. They all sat their goodbyes. leaving me alone. In my small hospital room. Not roomates or nurses, no other people. Vacant expect for me. Just one small little person to fill up a rather large sized room that could easily fit at least ten to fifteen other people comfortably.

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**Hope you liked it! Thanks for reading **

**HarmonyG**

**-18,312 words**


	12. Peppermint Tea

**Thanks to my Peppermint tea, You are my Inpiration for this chapter. 3 You!**

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Slowly I begin to feel myself fall asleep. Harry, Ron and my father will be back in the morning and spend the day with me again.

" Hermione." I hear my name being called. "Hermione , it's nine, time to wake up."

I look at the woman in front of me. It's Carrie-Anne White. "Hello, , Are you going to eat something this morning." She asks.

_"I Think so, what do I have to eat?" I write to her._

"Anything you want." Carrie-Anne tells me.

_"Toast." I write._

"Is that all you want."

_"Yes"_

"Are you sure, thats all you want... I can get you anything you want, anything at all."

I grab the pen in my hand and start to write. _"Peppermint Tea" _

"Alright" Carrie-Anne says. "I will arrange for that." She leaves me in the room alone. Harry and Ron won't be coming to see me for another two hours. I might as well find something to do. I get up off the bed and peer out of my room. Only one or two people are in the hallway. One of them looks at me and starts walking in my direction. I run back and sit on the bed.

"Do you need something" She asks.

I shake me head. She rolls her eyes at me and turns away. I glare at her when she has her back turned. As soon as my friends get here, I'll make them take me out. I Haven't been here twenty-four hours and I'm already sick of this place. I look at the clock. Nine-thirteen. It reads. I sigh, at least Carrie-Anne will be back soon, she'll probably watch to make sure I eat. They company may be good, but it's the sickness that follows eating I'm not looking forward too.

Not ten minutes later Carrie-Anne comes in the room with a small tray. I brought you some food, toast and tea like you requested, I also brought some friut and oatmeal, just in case you changed your mind.

_"Thank you." _

"The tea is very hot" Carrie-Anne warns. I nod in response. "I Have to stay for a while, to make sure you do eat, are you alright with that."

_"yes,you can sit in one of the chairs over there if you like."_

I pick up the toast slowly and take a bite. I put it back down, I don't want to eat right now, I want to get better. Unless I eat I can't get better. I won't be able to leave and they'll use other methods to get food into me. I take another bite of toast, then two more. I set it down again and pick up the peppermint tea. I take a sip, just like Carrie-Anne warned it still is very hot.

I take a bite of toast again. I decide I want some oatmeal now. I pick up the spoon and take a bite. The oatmeal is still warm. Its tastes like maple brown sugar, something we would always have when I was young. It reminds me of my mother. Suddenly I can't eat anymore. I push the food away. Before I do so I pick up the tea cup. After I take a few sips of tea I put It next to me on the bedside table.

_"I can't eat anymore." _

"Alright" Carrie-Anne smiles. "Do you know what you would like for lunch? Or should I come back a little later."

_"Maybe later is better" I write._

She nods and smiles then leaves the room. It's still going to be a while before Ron and Harry come. Its Nine forty-five now. I lay back on the bed and think. Think about my mother, my friends, about how sick I could get. I feel sick now, I wish my friends could be here. I pick up my tea, the only thing Carrie-Anne left. Peppermint is good for stomach aches. I decide to go back to sleep for a little while. Hopfully nobody will wake me up and I can sleep until my friends come.

" Hermione."

I rub my eyes as I wake up. I look before me and the person I see is not one of my friends but, Claudette Orion. "Hello , how are you feeling."

_"Better."_

"Good, have you eaten anything?"

_"Toast, some oatmeal, and I have peppermint tea."_

"Good, is anybody bringing you lunch, do you want anything specific?"

_"Carrie-Anne is dealing with that." _

"I'll be back after Lunch to see how you're doing."

Claudette leaves. I lay back on my bed and sigh, All I want is my friends. Thats it, but they won't come for a while. Its still only ten-forty. I wait what seems like hours before both of my friends walk in the room. As soon as they enter I jump up off the bed and Run over to Harry. He hold me close to him.

"Hey Hermione, how are you doing."

I walk ove with him and brag the little pen and paper. _"fine,I'm so glad that you're here now, I've missed you so much. I feel so sad when you're not here. I don't like being alone."_

"Were Here now, we'll be here all day with you."

I nod, I hate not being able to speak. I hate being sick everytime I eat. I miss being at school. I miss everything. I wan't to go back when the times were simpler. When my mother would cook christmas dinner for us. When I would come home from school and we would just hang out and spend time together. Now look where I am, I'm sick, missing school, making my friends miss school. Lately I've been missing quite a bit of things.

"Hermione, do you want to get some tea or something, would you be up for that."

_"Sure."_

I get up of the little bed making sure to take my pen and paper with me. We walk up to the visitors tea room. Ron and my father are following closely behind.

_"Is my father still letting you stay at the house, are my realtives still there."_

"Yeah, he said he would be fine, you're realatives want to see you once more before they have to leave, you might get to see them."

_"What are you going to get?"_

"Berry Tea, and a muffin, would you like anything."

_"Peppermint tea, and some carrot cake."_

"I didn't know you liked carrot cake."

_"I like carrot cake, I didn't know that you liked berry tea" _

"Touche"

I laugh silently. Harry smiles at me, he sighes heavily. "Are you going to be alright Hermione."

_"Yeah, I think I'l be fine, stop worrying about me." _

"I'm going to get our tea, I'll be right back, you can stay here."

Harry comes back with a Peppermint tea, Berry tea, muffin and slice of carrot cake. I take a sip of tea then put my hand to my thoat. I squeeze my eyes ans clench my teeth. my thraot really hurts.

"Hermione, what's wrong?" Harry asks.

_"My throat hurts." I write messily while trying not to cough. _

I start coughing, gasping for air. I put one of my hands to my chest. The other one holds my stomach. I feel sick.

"Hermione." Harry looks at me concerned. "I need to take you back, I need to take you back right now lets go."

**Harry(P.O.V)**

I try to hurry and walk with my friend. Relying entirely on me for support now. I look at her. Not only is she coughing terribly she looks terrible. We make our way to her room slowly. I help her to sit down on the bed. I put my hand on her shoulder. "I'm going to find somebody that can help you, alright. Try not to cough." I look around. Ron and Her father must still be in the tea room. They were ordering their food when we left. They must have not noticed. I hate to leave her alone but I have to. I walk out of the room and try to find somebody. I walk up to the front desk. "I Carrie-Anne White in?" I ask

"Sorry Healer White is on break, can I take a message."

"No, that's fine does Claudette Orionnhappen to be in?" I ask.

"I'm sorry unfortunately she is on break too, can I help you with anything else?"

"Yes, I need somebody to see my friend right now, she's not doing well. I'm worried about her."

"I will send someone in, what Room is she in?"

"Eight-Three-Nine-C" I reply.

I run back to the room before she says anything else. Hermione seems to be sleeping. I put my hand on her shoulder. "Hermione." I call. "Hermione!" I call again after she doesn't respond. Another ten seconds I call her name again. I worry when she doesn't respond.

**Hermione(P.O.V)**

I am now entirely relying on Harry for support now. I clutch my stomach as I cough. I don't know why it hurts so much. I only took one sip of tea and then I ended up feeling awful. It seems like a decade before we arrive back at my small, dull hospital room. Harry helps me walk over to the bed and sit down. He puts he hand on my shoulder and tells me that he is going to get me some help. I don't want him to leave, I don't even know where Ron and My father are. All I know is I just don't want to be alone. I hate being alone.

Harry leaves to get help. I don't even know If he comes back because I fall asleep before he does. I fall asleep to the sound of soft music and the smell of fresh air. It feels like a dream I hear rushing water and and birds. It's so serene. I try to call out and find that I can speak. "Hello" I call again. I see a small girl with blone hair in the distance. She is wearing her hair in braids and has a cute little white dress on.

"We have beem waiting for you Miss." She smiles sweetly grabbing for my hand. Together we walk off. Somewhere into the distance.


	13. Essence of Belladonna

**It's short. Sorry but I got Lazy...**

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**Harry(P.o.V)**

I look over at her. The only thing that relaxes me is that I can hear her soft breathing. I call out her name softly. "Hermione." I call. I put my hand on her shoulder, then brush some of her hair out of her face. I call her name again.

Ron and Hermione's father come in, it seems that they have picked up out tea and cakes. He looks at me. "Is she sleeping." He asks.

"I don't know, I brought her back she wasn't doing very well."

A couple people come in and ask me what happened. "We, went up for tea and as soon as she took as sip she got sick and..." They stop me at that point.

"Check the tea." One of them says.

Hermione's father hands them the tea. They only say one word "Belladonna." I look over at Hermione.

"Can you help her?" I ask quickly.

They nod and take her out of the room. "We can't have you with her, but don't worry, she should be alright."

I worry about her. I don't know whats going to happen. I'm nervous, what if my best friend ends up dead? I never said goodbye, I never told her how I felt, I'll never see her alive again.

**Hermione(P.O.V) **

I look over at the little girl. "Who are you?" I ask.

"I'm Leigh, you know my cousin, Luna."

"Am I dead." I ask.

"No, you're hallucinating."

"Hallucinating?" I ask sounding confused.

"Yes, you're tea was infused with Belladonna."

I look at her. "Who would put that in a tea shop at a hospital?"

"Not everybody is going to like you Miss, you must be careful."

I roll my eyes. If im hallucinating then none of this is real. Everything she tells me is probably a lie. Can't I wake up from this nightmare. Suddenly I stop. I take in my surroundings. I look at the soft green grass and just sit down lay down in it. Listening to the rush of water pouring down. I close my eyes and feel like I'm spinning around faster and faster. I can still hear the slow rush of water. I open my eyes and look over to see Harry at my side.

"Hey Hermione, how do you feel?" he asks.

_"Tired Is it raining"_

"Yeah, it's been raining for a while."

_"What time is it."_  
"It's two." he tells me.

_"Two? how long was I asleep for."_

"Only about two hours, are you hungry?"

_"Really, hungry... Why, I was never hungry before. What happened."_

"There was Belladonna in your tea."

_"Actually? The little girl was right?"_

"Little girl?" Harry questions.

I look over and she is standing in the doorway. _"Yes, right in the doorway." _I point over to where she is.

"Nobodys there Hermione."

_"But, I swear she was with me in the field with the waterfalls and she told me it causes..."_

"Causes what?" Harry asks me.

_I look back at Harry. "Hallucinations."_

He nods. "She's probably just a hallucination then, as was the field and the waterfalls. You'll be okay soon. The girl will go away once the effects wear off."

breathe in deeply._ "Okay,"I feel hungry, will you get me something to eat?"_ I ask.

"Sure, I see if I can find somebody."

Harry comes back about twenty minutes later with Carrie-Anne White. "She can't have anything for twenty four hours because of what they did to her, she'll have to wait."

He looks over at me. "I'm sorry, you can't have anything for twenty-four hours."

I clutch my stomach. "Does your stomach hurt?" Harry asks.

I nod yes. "It will for a while."

_"What did they do to me?" _

"Pumped your stomach or something, they had to get the poison out. I'm not exactly sure what they do in the magical world for that."

_"bezoar." I write._

Harry looks at me. "I guess that would be smart, but they took a while to do whatever, I doubt it was that simple. They wanted it out of you, not take any chances. They don't cure all poisons remember?"

_"I remember, and I guess that would be smart, you have one more day remember?"_

"I think I can stay longer."

_"But what about school."_

"Remember how much you missed me. I can't leave you, I would feel terrible."

_"But, there are more important things." _

"Right now nothing is more important to me than being here with you."

I Wish I could hug him right now, but I feel so weak and tired that it's even quite the event to be writing all my responses to him. I wish I could just speak for myself instead of having to write it all down. I guess I don't really know how I feel about Harry and Ron leaving me. I know that school is important. More to me than to them. As much as I want them to stay I don't want them to leave either I want them to do good in school. It might only be a few more days and I could help them get caught up. Maybe I'll just let them decide what they want to do.

"Hermione, you look tired."

_"I am."_

"You should get some sleep, alright. I'll be here when you wake up."

_"Thank you... Goodnight Harry."_

"Goodnight Hermione" Harry says sweetly.

I close my eyes tightly. Listening to the rain, which is not pounding hard on the window. It shows no signs of letting up. I allows myself only a few minutes of listening to the rain as it pounds down on the windows. Becoming seemingly angrier with each second.

_I wake up in the grass I had fell asleep in before. "Miss, are you ready to go?" Leigh asks. I think for a moment, This isn't real, this is a Hallucination. The effects will wear off soon enough. _

_"Where are we going?" I ask._

_"Into the distance, far, far away." Leigh replies._

_"Which is where exactly?" I question her. _

_"Miss, we are going off into the distance, where we will live a happier life."_

_I look at her confused. "That makes no sense, what do you mean?" I ask. _

_I have no clue about what this girl is trying to do, she claims to be Luna's deceased cousin Leigh. Never once have I heard Luna speak about her cousin, Leigh, or any other realatives besides her father. Who runs a odd little magazine or paper called the quibbler. I shake my head at her._

_"I think I would like to stay here." I tell her._

_"But Miss. it is not safe here, the darkness if coming."_

_"The darkness?"_

_"Yes, it turns souls evil when they are touched. We must stay on the light side. Until we are ready to go." Her voice is just like Luna's Quiet and dreamily almost ghost like and just a little bit creepy._

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**_Hope you liked it. _**

**_HarmonyG_**


	14. That Ron Weasley

**Hope you like it! I had to get it done, I didn't want to at all but I had to.. NaNoWriMo..sigh(so much WORK!)**

**Thanks to AllWasWell07 for all the reviews(Sorry if I got the name wrong i'm tired)**

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I wake up and Harry is looking into my eyes. "Hey" He smiles. I look back up at him smiling.

"How are you doing?" He asks.

I shrug my shoulders. Looking solemly back up at him. I look outside, the rain is still pouring down hard on the window. I breathe in deeply and turn over in the small bed. Which is actually quite uncomfortable.

"Hermione? are you abosolutely sure that you're alright." Harry asks.

I turn back so I face him and grab my pen and paper from my bedside table.

_"I don't want to talk Harry, I'm sorry, I don't feel very good."_

"Just wait until tomorrow Hermione, you'll be able to eat again and in then only one more day until you're able to speak.

#~ #~ #~ #~ #~ #~ #~

November 10th

I'm now able to speak again, and I've seemed to regain my appetite. One more day, which will be tomorrtow and I'll be able to go back to school. My cousins never got to see me before I left though, they had to leave and go back to Canada.

"Hermione?" I hear Harry call.

"Harry? When exactly are we leaving tomorrow?" I ask.

"I think eleven forty-five. We'll be here to come pick you up." Harry replies.

"Alright." I smile. "I'll be ready to leave when you get here." I finish.

He looks at me once, It's almost eight, I have to leave now, I'll be back soon. Get some sleep."

But I'm already half asleep, the days activties have left me exhausted. I fall slowly into a deep sleep as I think about everything I have to come back too. The School, the weekend trips to hogsmeade, not worrying about my friends, spending time with my friends, not having to be woken up every two hours. I smile as I'm pulled under... Drifting off into a deep sleep.

I hear my name being called. "It's almost time to go." I hear. I try to sit up rubbing my eyes. I see Ron in front of me. "Wheres Harry?" I ask.

"He didn't want to come, McGonagall is coming to pick the both of us up in fifteen minutes."

"I'll get ready."

I change out of my Pajamas into my school clothes, something I had brough with me just in case. I asked Harry to bring them here for me a few days ago.

"Is Harry coming with us?" I ask.

"Hermione, I already told you he didn't want to come, get it through your head!" Ron yells.

"Why are you yelling?" I ask him calmy.

"Sorry, Hermione, I'm just frustrated. Leave me alone for a while."

Making sure to leave Ron alone I start to pack up the rest of my belongings. After I finish I sit on the bed and wait. Ron is sitting alone on one of the chairs. He looks frustrated. I don't know what he wants me to do for him. He hasn't talked to me more than twice since I've been here and know that he is the only one here with me he doesn't even want to say a word?

I hate the akward silence and not knowing what I can say to break it. I cough once and Ron looks over at me.I stare back at him and he looks away... What's his problem? I think to myself. We haven't spoken in days. Why is he ignoring me, the only person who has even bothered to make a normal converstaion with me is gone. He didn't even show up to help transport me back to school.

The one person who went through so much with me. The one person who practically saved my life just about ten days ago. He helped me recover, he helped me feel better, and he supported me through everything. I sigh casually and shake my head mumbling to myself.

"And her didn't even bother to show up." My smile turns into a frown. I sniffle a bit and scratch my nose and cough once more. Once again Ron turns his ginger-head mop of hair to look at me. I turn away from him, hear him grumble the mumble something under his breath about "That Hermione Granger."

What they hell does he even mean by "That Hermione Granger." I he mad at me? My father? or Harry? What does he want from us. He came here to see me everyday and even though her was more than welcome to join in on our conversations he didn't bother too. What a great friend he is... "That Ron Weasley."

_November 11th(Morning, almost afternoon)_

_It's about Eleven thirty here. Ron is with me. Father and Hary promised they would be here too, but I don't see them anywhere and Ron and I haven't spoken since he arrived. All he does is grumble and Mumble under his breath. Well I guess thats a lie since he did say a few words to me when he walked in the room... But still. I can't beleive how rude he is being right now. What did I ever do for him to hate me? Nothing! I can't think of one single thing that I did that got him to hate me so much. _

_I'm looking at him right now mother, he looks angry. He did tell me that Professor McGonagall would come around here at about eleven forty-five to pick the three of us up and transport us back to school. But I don't see Harry and I haven't heard of any talk that he would be coming with us. I don't even have the slightest clue to where he might be. I wish I could just go out and look for him, but Ron said I have to wait to be 'dicharged' I think that i'm old enough to decide things for myself. I can't risk Having any of my friends in any sort of danger. Although if something were to happen to Ron right now I don't think I would care to much because right now he doesn't seem to care for me any._

_He started called me "That Hermione Granger." I don't really get what he means by that. He didn't even say it to my face. I heard him mumbling under his breath. I wish you were here to help me mother. I am having so many problems lately and I try to deal with them best I can and Father and Harry really try to help me(See how I DID NOT include Ron there) But i just can't seem to solve anything quickly enough. I really don't know if I will even have time to write once I get back to school, this might be the last letter for a while. I 'll have so much schoolwork to get caught up on while doing the current schoolwork and evrything will just be a mess._

_I worried about failing now, If I plan to do Three hours of extra work a day... Do you reckon that would be enough to get caught up with in about 3 or four days? Most likely not. Doe four of five work better? Maybe Six or seven even if I work off late into the night... Oh well I guess that I'll have to figure it out at some point on from now... Bye mother, wish me luck and best wishes to you. Take care father and I love you very much._

_Hermione_

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**_WOOOP CHAPTER FOURTEEN!_**


	15. I Love You Too

**Hope it's okay, it's not very long, There will be more tomorrow if I get my math done early. Okay bye.. :)**

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"Ron?"

"What. Hermione." Ron replies shortly.

I glare at him with Icy eyes.

"What are you looking at me for?"

"I wanted to talk to you! Why are you so mad at me? Whats wrong with you?"

Ron groans and looks away from me. I breathe in deeply then sigh. "Why are you so mad at me! What is making you hate me so much."

Ron looks back over at me concerned. "I don't hate you Hermione, what I hate is how you're acting!"

"What is wrong with the way I act?" I question.

" All you're interested in is Harry, Harry Potter this, Harry Potter that. What happened to us. I thought we had something together. I thought that we were friends Hermione."

"We are Ron, I just don't understand. Why would you never join our conversations, come sit with us or anything and now you just claim that you don't want to talk to me anymore or join Harry and I. It looks like you hate me? Why?"

"Because you're supposed to Love me, not Him."

My jaw drops. How could he even say that. Harry has been so supportive these past few days and Ron has been anything but supportive of me. Harry encouraged me to get better while Ron sat silently by my father. He never even said anything to us, well not a lot of things anyways. He never wanted to do anything with us and now. Now that Harry isn't even here he wants to talk about this? He wants to talk about how I should love him, and not love Harry? I should love a person who was never supportive who never really loved me. He has no place to complain he has no place to tell me that I should love him. I can do whatever I want, I don't need Ron to tell me what to do or who to love.

Harry runs in the room, He comes right over to me and Hugs me tightly. "Hermione, I'm so, sorry I came a quickly as I could. I'm so sorry I'm late Hermione."

"It's just fine Harry" I reply Smiling "I'm Glad you came, Ron said that you had no interest in coming with us today, what changed your mind." I finish.

"What, Hermione. I never said that." Harry tells me as he turns his attention to look over at Ron. "Why did you tell her that?" Harry asks him.

"I don't know." Ron replies mumbling as he shruggs his shoulders.

"He wants me to Love him." I say. "He wants me to love him instead of you." I repeat.

Harry looks at me. "Do you really love me Hermione?" Harry asks.

I nod. "yes, Harry. I really, really do love you." I reply.

Harry smiles and hugs me tightly again. Almost so tight that I find it hard to breathe. "I love you too Hermione, I always will." He whispers in my ear.

For a moment I just think. Everything seems to be happening in slow motion. Harry and I are still hugging each other tightly. My Harry, he has helped me so many times he has practicaly saved me life and now we love each other. I love him and he loves me back. Now if only Ron didn't love me too. If only he didn't insist I love him and not Harry. But now that he sees that Harry loves me too. He might back of and let us be. For some reason I don't believe thats Rons nature. I know he loves me and I used to love him. But he dated other people and now that he is single. I can't fall in love with somebody else. I never knew my life would be so influence just one person. One person who probably hates me so much now, that he'll try to either break Harry and I apart to he can be with me or never speak to Harry or myself ever again.

I just hope that I haven't made him hate me too much...

I look back at the letter. I haven't sent it out yet. Maybe that's something I should do now. I read it over once more.

_November 11th(Morning, almost afternoon)_

_It's about Eleven thirty here. Ron is with me. Father and Hary promised they would be here too, but I don't see them anywhere and Ron and I haven't spoken since he arrived. All he does is grumble and Mumble under his breath. Well I guess thats a lie since he did say a few words to me when he walked in the room... But still. I can't beleive how rude he is being right now. What did I ever do for him to hate me? Nothing! I can't think of one single thing that I did that got him to hate me so much. _

_I'm looking at him right now mother, he looks angry. He did tell me that Professor McGonagall would come around here at about eleven forty-five to pick the three of us up and transport us back to school. But I don't see Harry and I haven't heard of any talk that he would be coming with us. I don't even have the slightest clue to where he might be. I wish I could just go out and look for him, but Ron said I have to wait to be 'dicharged' I think that i'm old enough to decide things for myself. I can't risk Having any of my friends in any sort of danger. Although if something were to happen to Ron right now I don't think I would care to much because right now he doesn't seem to care for me any._

_He started called me "That Hermione Granger." I don't really get what he means by that. He didn't even say it to my face. I heard him mumbling under his breath. I wish you were here to help me mother. I am having so many problems lately and I try to deal with them best I can and Father and Harry really try to help me(See how I DID NOT include Ron there) But i just can't seem to solve anything quickly enough. I really don't know if I will even have time to write once I get back to school, this might be the last letter for a while. I 'll have so much schoolwork to get caught up on while doing the current schoolwork and evrything will just be a mess._

_I worried about failing now, If I plan to do Three hours of extra work a day... Do you reckon that would be enough to get caught up with in about 3 or four days? Most likely not. Doe four of five work better? Maybe Six or seven even if I work off late into the night... Oh well I guess that I'll have to figure it out at some point on from now... Bye mother, wish me luck and best wishes to you. Take care father and I love you very much._

_Hermione_

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**_Yes, same letter. I needed words.. I though it fit... Don't judge me!_**

**_Hope you liked it. I will do better tomorrow!_**

**_HarmonyG_**


	16. Back To School

**Hope it's okay. I actually kind of like this one! Enjoy!**

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Harry walks over to Ron and the start to converse over something. I can't quite tell what they are saying exactly. So I try to listen in. Unfortunately Ron spots me looking and listening in at their converstion and scowls.

"I'm not talking while she's here." Ron says angry, looking over in my direction. Harry whispers something to him

"She's Your friend too Ron, just because she doesn't love you, doesn't mean that she doesn't care about you."

"I loved her Harry, I really did. You know how it feels? That somebody doesn't love you back?"

Harry looks over at Ron and begins in a serious tone. "Maybe you know how she felt, when she saw you with other girls. Like Lavender, that you never realized she liked you and now you lost her."

The red-head turns over to look in my direction and scowls. "I never knew you liked me Hermione, you never told me. You loved me and you didn't want to give me the chance to love you back!"

I feel angry with him now. "I gave you so many chances, I hinted that I liked you mulitiple times! You're just to ingnorant to notice them!"

"It's not like I can read your mind" Ron shouts. "How do you expect me to know if you don't say anything!"

I feel like I don't know how to respond. I sit silent for a few seconds. Just as I'm about to open my mouth and say something I hear Ron mutter under his breath.

"Yeah, exactly, you don't know what to say."

I try to ignore it. Pretending that I didn't hear a word he just said. Although I heard every word of it. I sigh. Knowing that the days to come will be long ones. My only thoughs right now are to get back to school. Get caught up with all the school work. Maybe Ron will regret fighting with me and critsizing me when I help Harry and not Him with everything.

We get back to school Ron walks at a fast pace ahead of me and Harry. As for Harry and I we walk slowly talking about the events.

"Do you think He's really mad at me Harry" I question.

"No. Hermione, I think he's just jealous, that you like me instead of him. I think he might be a bit dissapointed that he didn't love you back when he had the chance." Harry replies, his answer is more logical than I thoug he could come up with.

"Do you think I'm a bad person." I ask.

"No, People change all the time Hermione, who you love doesn't make you a bad person. Or who you upset. Sometimes people like Ron are sucked in easily by jeaslousy, anger and hatered."

I nod at him. Hanging my head low. "I feel bad, I hate seeing him so upset, even if he is a jealous prat he's still our friend."

"He'll come around in a few days Hemione. It'll just take him a while to get used to the idea of his two best friends being in a relationship."

"I hope you're right Harry." I say softly.

Before we know it we arrive at the common room. Then discover we don't know the password and didn't bother to ask McGonagall about it. Harry spot one of the Gryffindor students coming down the steps from the seventh floor. We wait for him to come and ask if he knows the password. He does, he releays the password to us and we follow him into the common room. We grab a seat by the fireplace as the mystery student head up to the dormatories.

"I think I'll go unpack" I say getting up, after sitting on the couch for about all of thirty seconds. I walk up to my room to discover Ginny. Sitting on her bed working on some schoolwork. She lifts her head to see who just entered the room.

"Hermione!" She shouts surprised jumping off the bed then squeezing me tightly. "How are you? I haven't seen you in so long. Do you feel alright.? I tried to send you owls but they just came back with my letters, I was so worried nobody would tell me where you went... By the way where were you?"

My eyes widen at Ginny array of question. "Hello Ginny, how about we take it one question at a time" I sat slowly. She nods a yes and Asks where I was.  
"I was at home."

"Why?" She questions.

"I had some family issues to deal with, then I got sick and that explains why I didn't come to school for any of the days last week."

"You got sick what happened?" Ginny asked concerned.

"It's quite the long story." I say 'I won't bother to bore you with any details but it wasn't a very nice experience."

"No, I wouldn't think so." Ginny replies.

I walk over to my bed and flop down over it. I feel so sick, so awful, and tired. I rub my neck with my hands. It feels sore, my whole body feels sore. Ginny looks over at me and she seems to be studying me movements or emotions or something.

"Hermione you look sick." She finally states.

"I feel sick." I reply.

"I should take you to the hospital wing, get up, let's go." She tells me.

"No, Ginny I've been at the Hospital for the past week, surely if I was Unfit to go home they would have kept me there" I state.

Ginny shakes her head. "I'm not sure Hermione." She replies in a tone of unassurance. "I think it would be best for you... Just to be safe. Make sure you get well." She tells me. "A healthly body makes for a healthy mind" She adds.

I roll my eyes. "Oh, fine." I say. "Just to be sure..."

Ginny and I walk down to the hospital wing together. We see turn a corner and I bump into Ron causing him to drop all his books and papers.

"Watch where you're going Granger." He scoffs.

I look at him sadly. "Don't give me that face, I gave you so many chances and you still choose him over me."

I don't reply and Ginny pulls me away from him. "What happened?" She asks. "What happened between you and Ron, why is he so mad at you? Did you have a fight?" She asks me.

"of course we had a fight, why else would he be mad."

"What were you fighting about?" Ginny questions me.

"Ron came to collect me from the Hospital before Harry. He told me that Harry didn't want to come with us. After A while he came apolgizing for his lateness."

"What does that have to do with it." Ginny asks.

"Ron was angry when Harry came. Ron knew that I loved Harry, and that Harry loved me back, He didn't want the two of us to be together because he loved me. He was and still in angry because I love him at one point but he was too ingorant to notice."

"So he's upset because you Love Harry and not him?"

"Exactly" I respond.

Ginny laughs. "Thats the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Ron gets mad about some pretty stupid things. But this?"

"I know, but I guess thats just Rons nature and as his friends we have to deal with his flaws."

After our conversation Ginny takes me to the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey looks me over, just too make sure everything is alright and I don't expect what I hear. It's not something that great either. I feel my heart sink knowing that I may never recover.

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**Hope you liked it!**

**Please review!**

**Thanks to everyone who had Reviews, Followed favourited or taken the time to read!**

**THANKS  
-HarmonyG**


	17. We Say Goodbye in the Pouring Rain

**Sorry I didn't update for a few days. I had a crazy amount of homework to do. There will most likely be two chapters today this one and one more. Thanks.**

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She doesn't know whats wrong with me, but she tells me I look sick. I brush her off and ask to leave. Although reluctant she obeys my wishes. I walk back to the room with Ginny. She sighs heavily.

"Hermione, we need to figure out what happened to you."

I turn to look over at her. "I know what Happened Ginny, I need a little more time to recover, thats all. Nothing more to it. I'll be fine in a few days time and we'll forget that any of this ever happened."

She shakes her head and looks away from me. I roll my eyes in frustration. As I wonder where Harry is. I'm not quite sure what he said he would be doing or where. But there's a good chance that he's still in the common room. Ginny walks quite a ways up ahead of me. I walk slowly behind her. Has she lost intrest in me so quickly. I stop in the middle of the hall and think for a second. What am I doing wrong. The only person that seems to be conversing with me now is Harry.

When I get up to the common room Ginny is there talking to Ron. _"if_ _you_ _really loved her that much, then you should have told her sooner." _

"I was afraid she wouldn't love me back..."

Ginny rolls her eyes. I smile, looks like I still have Ron sister on my side. I close my eyes and breathe in deeply. Wondering how the next few weeks will go. Certainly not too well if Ronald and I still aren't speaking.

"Hermione?" Ginny calls. "Would you like to come back upstairs with me, I need to finish my schoolwork." I take one more look back at Ron, who is not sitting alone.

"yeah, sure Ginny." I nod, following her up the stairs and back into the room. I sit back down on my bed. Comfortable, unlike the small hard hospital beds. I'm glad to be back here. It almost seem sureal. Like I haven't been here in years. I stare out the window to my side. Not moving. Just sitting watching the clouds go by. I'm forced to leave this fantasy when I hear my name being called.

"Hermione." Ginny calls. "Hermione?"

I turn around quickly to face her. "yeah?" I reply.

"Are you positive that you're alright. I'm worried about you, I would feel so guitly if anything were to happen and I..."

I cut her off right there. "Nothing bad is going to happen I promise." I say assuringly. "I think I'm going to rest a while, I'm exhasted."

I crawl into bed and close my eyes. As I drift of further and further and further away. Finally falling fast asleep.

_I walk down a long hallway. Passing people who don't bother to look at me. As I near the end I see my mother looking down at me smiling. Holding my letters in her hand. As I get closer and closer to her I extend my hand wanting to grab onto hers. But as I do so she slowly starts to fade away. Until I can no longer see her. "Don't leave me" I call. "Don't leave me now, Please stay." But she doesn't return. "please come back, Take me with you." I close me eyes sadly. Forcing myself to keep from crying. I'm stronger than that. _

_"Hermione, Wake up!" I hear somebody calling, but I'm not sure where they are. "Hermione!" The same voice calls. "Wake up!" _

_Slowly I begin to blink really fast and my eyes open._

"Ginny?" I question. "What, where am I?"

"You were talking in you sleep, It was freaking me out? Who were you with?" she asks. "In your dream." She adds quickly after.

"Somebody." I reply not wanting her to know.

"Was it your mother?" She asks.

I remain silent. I still don't feel like talking about the subject yet. It hasn't really been long enough for everything to sink in yet.

"It was" Ginny says softly. "Why did you want her to take you with her?"

I shrug. "It was only a dream" I say brushing her off.

I get up from bed and check the my watch; Three fifty-six. Almost four. I decide that I should get some fresh air and walk outside for a little while. When I arrive at the common room. Harry is still sitting on the couch. Fiddling with something in his hands. He hears me coming down the steps and looks towards me.

"Oh Hermione it's just you." He calls.

"Yeah." I shrug. "Just me." I finish laughing. "I'm going for a walk. Want to come?" I ask.

"Yeah, Okay Sure." He replies not even thinking on the matter at hand for a moment.

We walk out into the courtyard and sit on one of the benches surrounding the fountain. We just sit silently for minutes before Harry starts to speak and make an attempt to start a proper conversation.

"Hermione?" He says questioningly. I turn to face him and our eyes lock on one anothers. I smile. "Yeah?" I reply in the same questioning tone.

"Do you think you're going to be alright?" He asks.

Quite a few people have been asking me this now Ginny, now Harry and who knows how many more people. I look away from him returning my attention to gazing in the clouds. I sigh heavily and look down at the ground. Listening the the rush of water from the fountain.

"I think I'll be just fine." I say after a while.

Harry moves closer to me and wraps his arm around me. "You're cold." He says. Pulling me closer to him practically hugging me now. He takes his jacket off and wraps it around me. "You want to stay out here for a bit?" Harry asks me. "Or go inside?" he adds.

"I don't know." I say solemly. "I just don't know."

"You seem really sad. Hermione is there something else wrong?"

"No" I reply shaking my head. "I'm alright."

Thunder roars above us and I begin to feel raindrops on my head. Looks like the rain didn;t let up for too long. Harry stands up.

"Lets go inside." He whispers in my ear.

"I'd like to stay out here. You can go inside I'll be there in a little bit." I tell him. Handing him his jacket back.

"You keep it for now, we don't need you getting sick again." He smiles.

Harry leaves me alone for a while. Outside in the rain, I shiver and hug myself as the rain pours down even harder. I still don't feel like going inside for some reason. Even though I'm still exhasted. I stay sitting on the bench, hugging myself for warmth. With the rain, nobody will come out to see me. Harry has left, and the rain will mask my tears. So nobody will ever know I've been sad, or crying. Because everybody expects me to be this smart, strong clever character. Not some sad, wimpy girl. Who cries at every misfourtune or insult.

I cough one and wonder how long I've been outside for, Thinking that Harry is sitting by the warmth of the fire. Surely I haven't been out here for long and I can stay out and sit in the rain for a little while longer. The doors are now closed so as not to let any cold air in. I can't stop shivering to I run to the door and try to get in. Locked... "damn" I murmer under my breath.

I run around to the other door which takes about ten minutes almost slipping twice on the way. I sigh heavily when the door is locked again. I run to the only other door I could think of. The one by the green houses. I Try to open the door, pulling hard on the door. It's locked too. I turn around and bang my head on the door. Sliding against it a sitting position. I hug myself even tighter In attempt to keep warm. After a while I decide that I should go back to the courtyard door just in case Harry comes back to find me.

I pull on the door. Hard, locked. Well it was worth a try I think to myself. By this point Im freezing. Wishing I could get inside. I put my hands in Harry's pockets. Finding a quill and paper. I look over at the owlry. Its only about fifteen minutes away. I start walking towards it and Im glad when I finally reach it. "Hedwig!" I call. Harry snowy owl jumps down and lands on my outstreached arm. I write on the paper with my freezing cold hands.

_All the doors are locked, I'll be at the courtyard doors in about fifteen minutes, can you open them for me._

_-Hermione._

I give it to hedwig and she nudges me happily and flys off. I Start to make my way back to the courtyard doors. Knowing Harry will be there soon. I hear the door trying to open. No luck.

"Hermione! are you there." A voice calls.

"Harry?"

"I'm going to find someone to open the door, wait here."

I don't reply and I expect that Harry has run off. I count about twenty minutes before he arrives back. Twenty freezing cold minutes in the freezing cold rain. The door finally opens and he walks over to me and squeezes me tightly.

"You're so cold." He tells me.

"I know." I reply hugging him back. "Don't let go yet."

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**Thanks for reading! **

**-HarmonyG**


	18. In Sickness and in Health

**HOPE YOU LIKE THIS ONE i did this instead of homework... Not that you should follow in my footsteps.**

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"Let's get you into some dry clothes, you're freezing, you're going to get sick" He tells me.

I cough once. Harry shakes his head. "I shouldn't have let you stay outside alone. It's my fault you're sick now."

"No, Harry its not I'm fine." I assure him as we walk upstairs to the common room. I run upstairs and get changed. Ginny is back in the room working on school work. Still. When I enter she looks up at me. I'm shivering.

"Hermione! What happened?" She asks concerned.

"I got tuck outside in the rain for a while I'll be fine."

I get some dry clothes on and meet Harry by the fire. He pulls me closer to him. "Still cold?" He questions. "A little bit." I reply smiling. He puts his arm around me and I rest my head on his shoulder. Ron comes down the stairs and sits next to us. I turn my head to look at him. Surprisingly he doesn't glare at me.

"You look cold." He says. "What happened."

"Well..." I start of nervously. "We went for a walk outside, I requested that Harry leaves so I could be alone for a while. When it started to rain, Harry left, I stayed. I didn't go in for a while and all the doors ouside were locked. I had to Owl Harry to let me in."

"Are you alright?" Ron asks.

"Yeah, I wasn't out there for too long..."

"You were outside for more than an hour!" Harry interupts.

I shrug it off like its no big deal. After all I'm not sick now, not really. I'll feel better in a while. Before long I'll be good and healthy. my eyes widen. I forgot to study! How could I forget! I have an exam Monday. I break free from Ron and Harry and run back up to my room in a panic. I grab my books from my bag and sit down on my bed.

"What are you doing?" Ginny asks.

"Studying." I reply shortly. "I could might have to take my exam tomorrow and I need to be ready!"

Ginny walks over to me and puts a hand on my shoulder. "Hermione." She pauses. "Relax a little bit. I'm sure you'll do fine on your exam, you've studied so much already."

"I know, but I should reveiw!"

After Ginny returns to her own bed and continues working on her own schoolwork. Like she should be. I don't need people telling me how to run my life. I can make decisions for myself.

_November 18th _

It's been almost a week since I was in my room panicing ove my exam. I'm very happy to learn that I've earned a top-grade on it. But right now I feel cold and tired. I haven't written to my mother in over a week. I've hardly spoken with Harry, Ron or Ginny and I went to my fathers for the weekend. He has requested that I come every weekend. But most of the time im just stuck doing school work up in my room. Today is the first day I've been back here since friday afternoon.

I sigh as I look out the window of my room. The whole world looks orange the sun is halfway through settign and all the clouds are starting to change colors of purple, orange pink and blue. I rub my temples with my fingers. My head is starting to hurt and I just can't seem to concentrate on anything. I hear somebody, probably Ginny making thier way over to the room. The knob on the door turns and my assumption turns out to be correct. I look over in her general direction. She doesn't speak a word to me as she walks over to her own bed.

"Hey, how was your weekend?" She asks only seconds after she sits down.

"Fine" I reply "yours?" I Question.

"It was alright, I missed you a little. It was quite boring not having you here." She tells me I hear the sympathetic tone in her voice.

"You missed me?" I ask surprised.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?" she replies.

I shake my head. "Yeah, I guess so." I murmer quietly.

I return my attention to looking out the window. The sky has darken considerably and and the clouds are now a blackened color instead of navy blue. Even in the darkness I can still see the odd bird flying past my window in the sky. It seems that lately the world has been cold and tired. That it's not holding the element of surprise or excitment that all the happiness has been washed away and nobody has been seeking its return.

"You're sad Hermione. What happened?" Ginny asks after a while.

I pretend not to hear her. Enjoying the silence that has been looming over us for the minutes before. I'm not one for conversation and now above all other times. Right now all I feel like doing is sitting here in silence.

"Hermione!" Ginny calls her voice sounding a bit angry this time.

I roll my eyes and turn to face her. "What!" I snap.

"What are you doing? You seem sad, you're getting angry at me. There's something wrong. are you going to tell me?"

"I've told you before! My mother died and I don't even know how! It's going to take a little longer than two weeks to get over it!" I reply angrily. "If you think that I'm going to 'get over it' anytime soon you're wrong!"

She looks at me sympatheticly. "Hermione, I didn't mean it like that... I'm worried about you. I know what happened yes, but I think theres something else. Some deeper problem, somethings bothering you isn't it?"

"A little bit." I say. "Just a little bit."

"What is it?" Ginny asked as she comes over to sit next to me on the bed.

"I want to know who killed my mother, I want to know where and why. I want to know what happened. I can't just sit here and wonder anymore. I have to know Ginny, because I was supposed to be home that day. I'm almost one hunfred percent sure that they were out to get me. If I were there it would have been me who died. Not my mother."

Ginny looks over at me. Her face is sad looking. "Hermione, I'm sorry. I didn't know about that. Is that why you've been so sad lately."

I nod a yes and she hugs me tightly. "You'll be alright Hermione, I know you will."

I smile slightly. "sometime, it might now be anytime soon. But It'll be alright."

"We have school tomrrow, better get some sleep now." Ginny suggests.

"Yeah, I guess so." I reply solemly. "Goodnight." I finish.

"Night Hermione, sleep well."

_November 19th_

I wake up to the bright light of the sun streaming in through my bedroom window. I slowly wake up to the nearly blinding light. I grumble and pull the bedsheets over my head.

"Hermione!" Ginny calls shaking me. "Get up it's time to go to class."

"I don't feel good, let me sleep." Ginny pulls the covers from over my face. "You're just tired, and besides you... Never. Miss. Class..."

Her words slow down as she sees me. "You, look truly awful Hermione. What happened?"

I mumble. "I don't know."

"You're extremely pale." She puts her hand on my forehead and takes it off almost milliseconds later. "And you're freezing!" She adds. "I'm going to call somebody, You probably need something."

"No, I don't need anything, I'll be fine, just let me sleep."

Ginny shakes her head. "No, you're not. I can tell, you need some help. We can't have you getting sick."

"So, what if I get sick, If I get sick enough somebody will find me."

"Fine, I'm not going to make you get up, But i'll ask madam Pomfrey to come and check on you. I don't want whatever this is to get worse."

I shake my head in agreement. "Fine, whatever you want."

Ginny leaves the room and I continue to fall back asleep. It seems like only seconds before I have to be woken up again.

" ." I hear a voice call. " , Miss. Weasley requested that I come check on you. You do look awfully sick I'm going to move you down to the hospital wing so I can monitor you more closely."

I nod. "Alright." I sigh sadly. The next time that I wake up I realize I'm in the Hospital wing. All my friends are seated around me.

"Hello, Hermione." Harry said softly. I force a small smile. "Hey Harry."

"How are you doing." He asks.

"To be honest I feel terrible." I tell him.

"It's late, you've been sleeping for a long time. Nearly all day. We have to go now, we'll come and see you tomorrow alright?" Harry tells me.

The rest of my friends say goodbye and give me get well wishes before exiting the Hospital Wing. I sigh as they leave, I feel worse than ever. Sad, depressed sick and cold. I feel as though I'll never get better and this might now be something that I'll get over easily. I look over to the other side of the room. I don't see anybody over there. I might be the only one here today. Not alot of students are ever required to stay in the hospital wing over night. Most just come for relief of stomach ahces, head aches or other pain relief. However I guess that Harry might just be an exception, since he's been here som many time.

Now its seems to be me thats going to be joining this little club. I sigh heavily once again. Wishing that all of this could be over. That pain and death would just go away for a while that this melacholy feeling that seems to be looming over me would just go away for the time being. Sometimes I wish I could just leave. Leave the world for a while. Go to a place without sickness without death. Without sadness or evil. But that place only exsits in my dreams for now. I don't think I'll be feeling like that for a long time and when I finally do. I'll see my mother again.

I wake up at around seven am. Breakfast is ready and is sitting at a table in front of me. I force myself to eat something although I don't feel very hungry. I'm only able to eat one slice of toast before I feel sick and push the table away from myself. Madam Pomfrey looks at me strangely.

"Aren't you Hungry ?" She asks.

I shake my head. "A little, I don't feel very well when I eat though, hopefully I'll be able to eat something decent by lunchtime." I reply.

"I'll bring you some water, if you aren't going to eat at least drink something."

She leaves after that and comes back five minutes later with some water. I begin to wonder why she didn't just use some water to generate some. I don't feel liek drinking though or eating eat for that matter. All I feel like doing is sleeping. Something that I have done alot of lately. I really wish that I would get better soon. I have missed so much school due to sickness and I just can't really afford to loose anymore class time. Even though I am considered pretty smart and I constantly read ahead of the class the in class learning time is very affective for studying tips and reveiwing.

I'm woken up at lunch time by none other than Ginny and Harry. Just like the morning Ron is absent from the group. It looks like my friends have brought their own lunches here to eat with me. How sweet.

"Hey Hermione, we brought our lunches here, we wanted to eat and spend some time with you, that alright?" Ginny asks.

"Yeah." I mumble softly. "I don't feel very well so I might not eat a lot or even eat at all."

"Thats alright, we understand if you're not feeling well, I brought your schoolwork here too." Harry tells me.

"Thanks Harry." I smile sweetly.

"No problem." He replies. "They said you can take your History of Magic Exam once your feeling better."

I nod and murmer "okay" very softly so that it's barely audible. Causing Harry and Ginny both having to ask me to repeat myself.

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**Hope you liked it! Thanks for reading!**


	19. Until We See You Again

**Chapter the 19th! I Have math homework, lots and lots of math homework so I hope 2,000 words is good enough! **

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"Oh, wait... Was it the Charms exam?" Ginny asks.

I nod my head yes in reply.

"You, can go if you want." I tell my friends. "Go eat with everybody else. I'm not Hungry."

Ginny looks over at me sadly. "Why are you so sad? Why don't you want us to be with you. Why don't you want us here. You're always telling us to leave you alone. But thats not what you want. Is it?"

I look down at me feet and shake my head. "No, It's not what I want, but its what everybody expects me to be like."

"What do you mean?" Harry asks me.

"I'm not some weak girl Harry, People expect me to be smart, strong, able to do things for myself. They don't expect all of this. Depressed,weak,sick,helpless."

"You're far from helpless Hermione." He tells me.

I laugh. "I guess so, It feels that way though."

Harry reaches up and pushes some stray hair from my face. "Even though it feels that way, it's not going to be that way. You need help, and before you say anything don't deny it. You may not want it. You may not think you need it. But you do, or you're going to get sick." He lectures.

I look back at him and sigh heavily. "I guess you're right Harry."

I cough a couple times and hold my hands tightly against my stomach. Harry and Ginny both look at me concerned.

"Are you alright?" Ginny asks. "Does your stomach hurt?" she continues.

"No, it's fine its just force of habit." I reply. "Now, class is about to start. You two better get going, don't want to miss anything do you..." I state.

"No" Harry begins pausing. "I guess not, I'll come back to see you later, alright?"

"Yeah. See you later." I say solemly.

"Don't be sad, it's not that much longer."

I nod and look over at Ginny. "You going to come back too?" I ask her.

"Of course Hermione." She replies, hugging me. "I'll be here every day until you get out."

"Thank you." I tell her smiling.

_November 19th_

_Dear Mother,_

_So It's been a long time since I've been in contact and I want to write to apologize for that. I've been busy and the sick and the busy and then sick. It seems that I've been sick a lot lately and I'm not quite sure why. After the first hospital visit I decided I hated it and all those events happened. You probably recall the "Peppermint tea" incident and after that it all got better. I took my exam, and got top marks! Which was expected but still amazing at the same time. Now its gotten quite a bit worse. I've gotten sick multiple times and It's only started to get worse. It's not good. _

_Are you worried about me? I don't want you to be too worried. I know you probably are but its too soon to worry. They say that they don't know whats wrong with me yet. The worst of it came this morning. Ginny tired to wake me up, I told her I didn't want to go to classes because I was tired. I turned away and pulled the covers over my head and then she pulled them back and discovered I was sick. I looked terrible and she told me I felt freezing cold. _

_I refused to go to the hospital wing because I wanted to sleep. Ginny told Madam pomfrey to come check on me and then she took me down to the hospital wing to monitor me a little more closely. Even though she doesn't even know whats wrong. She figures I might just heal with time. Harry and Ginny promise to come and see me in thier free time until i get out of here. Which is mice because I miss classes and not having anything to do. Ron and I still haven't been speaking very much. He spoke to me one after I got stuck in the rain. Which I should probably tell you more about. _

_So Harry and I went for a walk a few days ago and it started to rain outside. I told him I just needed to be alone for a while and that I would meet him inside up in our common room In a little while. It started to rain even harder, it was nearly a rain storm and I went to go inside and noticed the door was locked. So I tried a different one and just my luck it ended up being locked too. Then I tried the one next to the greenhouse and that one was also locked. I ran back to the courtyard in case Harry had come back. He hadn't, I noticed the owlry, which is where all the schools owls stay. I found a quill and some parchment in Harry's coat pocket. He gave me his jacket because I looked cold to him. _

_He got my owl but I was stuck in the cold rain for about and hour. It wasn't very nice either and that is how I ended up so sick. Right now I'm stuck in the hospital wing. Harry and Ginny have just left me here alone. So thats why I'm writing to you. Also the fact that I haven't in a while and I'm so sorry I've just been so busy and sick. I really hope that you don't mind. I know if you were here i'd be getting tons of get well wishes. Hope you're doing good. Watch over father for me. Best wishes and best of luck._

_-Hermione._

I set down my pen after what seems to be hours of writing. I look over and re-read my letter. Then fold it and put it away. I begin to start feeling sore and exhausted. I groan and turn over in the small bed. I begin to fall asleep slowly before I'm woken up.

"Hermione." I hear somebody call. "Hermione, wake up dear."

I slowly open my eyes. "Yes" I mumble. "Why can't you just let me sleep."

"I need to see how you're doing, feeling alright."

"No, I feel terrible, how do you think I would feel!"

"I have something that should make you feel a little better, and Classes are almost over so I assume that your friends will be here soon."

She hands me some potion which I assume is something for pain. I drink it anyways. Knowing that it'll be worse if I don't take whatever it may be.

I can hear Harry and Ginny approaching the Hospital Wing. I sit up and Harry walks over to me and squeezes me tightly. "How are you doing, feeling alright."

I shake my head. "Not really."

Harry looks at me sadly. "You'll feel better soon Hermione, I know you will. You just can't get sick..." Harry tells me.

"Why not?" I laugh.

"I won't allow it." He smiles.

"Like we have a say in this. I'm going to get worse Harry, and I may not get better."

"Well not if you think like that you won't, Hermione. You have to want to get better you won't get better by thinking like that. You have to help yourself get better and you have to think that you'll get better. The mind is a very powerful thing Hermione, you know that. Don't let your sickness get in the way of your intelligence."

I glare at him. "Since when have I ever let anything get in the way of my intelligence."

"I know you haven't yet, but your the logical one here and for me to be the logical one is taking a lot of work."

I laugh at him. "It's not that hard..." I smile.

"Thats because you make it look easy."

I look away from him and Ginny for a little while. Just staring off into space for a what seems like hours. "Hermione." Harry calls. "Hermione can you hear me?" he asks. I don't respond. I feel him trying to shake me back to reality. "HERMIONE" He yells. "HERMIONE CAN YOU HEAR ME?" he asks.

"Yeah, Harry I'm sorry what do you need?" I question.

"Nothing, you weren't answering me though, I though something might've happened."

"What could have happened?"

"I don't know just something and it really concerns me how often you space out like that!"

"It's not a big deal? Whats it to you." I ask.

"Look Hermione, you're my friend and If anything happened to you I would blame myself for not being able to do anything for you. You know how much I would miss you if something terrible were to happen and you know what I mean. I love you. I just couldn't live knowing you're not here."

"I guess so, I'd miss you too, if something were to happen." I put my hand to my forhead and then lie down. Slowly my eyes close. I hear panic in Harry's voice.

_"Hermione! Hermione! Hermione! What's wrong! get up. Come on, come on..."_

_I wake up and see the same little girl as I've seen before. Luna's relative leigh She still loooks the same as she did days ago. _

_"Hello Hermione" She smiles. "Good to see you again."_

_"Why am I here" I ask. "Am I dead yet?" _

_"No, you're fine" Leigh laughs. "The potion you just took a while ago can cause hallucinations." _

_"Great" I roll my eyes. "I know that but Harry and Ginny probably think I'm dead now."_

_"The healer will come and then tell them that you're just fine_, they might be asked to leave, you could be sleeping for quite some time."

_"Am I going to be here for that whole time?" I ask Leigh._

_"You might be, normaly people are."_

_"So you see lots of people?" I question._

_"Oh yes, I'm never to lonely, we might even see somebody while you're here."_

_"Really, who has come through here since I was gone?" _

_"Oh about ten people. A little girl two years yonger than me, Astoria. Two sets of twins, Amy and Cadence and Breaeden and Cameron and a family of five. Keaton, Marie, Charlotte, sampson and Juliuanna."_

_"How long were they here for."_

_"Well all of them are still here, the ones that died at least, the others that have been 'brought back' are well in the physical world."_

_"You mean we aren't in the Physical world but the spirit world."_

_"Mhmhn exactly." Leigh replies._

_"So If im not dead how come I can stay here?"_

_"You have the ability to communicate with the deceased."_

_"I'm sorry what?" I ask._

_"You can communicate with people who have died."_

_"Yes" I say "I gathered that but why?"_

_"Nobody really knows." Leigh replies. "But you were given this ability for a reason, you may know it now, you may not know it till later. But I just know that you'll use it for something meaningful and special."_

_"Hermione!" I hear somebody call._

_"Oh." Leigh exclaims. "Looks like it's time for you to get back."_

_"How do I get back?"_

_"close your eyes and Imagine you're there, think of where you want to be..." Leighs vocie slowly fades as I close my eyes. When they open I see light and attepmt to cover them. _

"Hermione." Harry calls hugging me. "I was so worried about you, what happened?"

I shrug my shoulders. "Don't know." But inside I know exactly what I have to do. I know why I was given the ability to communicate with the dead. I have to find somebody and I know who that person is. I feel happy inside knowing that I'll be able to communicate with her. The one person I've been missig for so long the one person I wish I could be with.

_Mother... I'm finally going to get to see her again. I'm not quite sure what I'm supposed to do yet or how I'm going to get in contact with her. It might be along journey but I'm ready and I can't wait to start. I'm going to get to see her again..._

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**_Hope you liked it! and what did you think of the end! Plot twist am I right! _**


	20. Lydia, Marci and Katelyn

**Hope you like it. Had lots of homework again! anways enjoy!**

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"I feel sick Harry." I tell him.

He nods. "I know you do." He says sitting down beside me. "You'll be fine." he finishes. Planting a kiss on my cheek. "You know I love you."

"I love you to Harry." I whisper.

He looks at me and his smile turns into a frown. Then he smiles slightly again and sighs. "You better get some rest, you don't look to good, lie back down."

I do as Harry tells me to and lie down on the small, uncomfortable hospital wing bed. An annoying ringing fills my ears. I'm not quite sure if I shold sleep. I feel sick but I don't feel like sleeping. I close my eyes and try to sleep. I'm woken up by every single sound, I can't sleep and I hear everybody's voices. So many voices.

_"Should we really be keeping her up." Voice one calls_

_"Maybe not, but we need her." Voice two says_

_"It's not nice." voice one replies_

_"Do you think she's sick, I think she needs rest..." Voice three says_

_"No, she should be fine." Voice two tell her_

_"We don't need her dying we should let her sleep." Voice one says_

_"Yeah, she can rest and sleep to her hearts content once she helps us."Voice two tells the others_

_"You're really mean.."Voice one and two say in unison_

_"Whatever..."Voice two says._

"Hello." I call.

_"I think she hears us!" Voice one calls out frightened._

_"Can she see us?" The second voice asks._

_"I think so." voice one replies._

_"Of course she can't see us! She might not even be able to hear us?" Voice three states._

_"Oh sush Lydia, you know nothing."_

_"I know more than you and Katelyn combined." Lydia retorts._

_"Oh sush both of you!" Katelyn calls. "Lydia, Marci both of you are making fools of yourselves."_

So mystery voice three is named Lydia, and from what I can tell she's quite rude. Voice two is Marci and the last one. The third is Katelyn. I guess they don't know I can hear them then. I know I can't see them though. At least not yet they might not be in my line of vision.

"Hello" I call out again.

_"Now do you believe me Lydia, she can hear us, she obviosly isn't hearing anything else. Because nobody else is around here right now." Marci says._

_Lydia groans "whatever are we going to ask her for help or not?" she asks._

_"Yeah, we are and I think the both of us would appriciate if you would be a little nicer when we meet her."_

_"Oh fine." Lydia replies shortly. _

"Hello" I call again.

_"Hi!" A voice says sweetly as three little girls appear before me._

"I can see you?" I say amazed.

_"Of course you can we choose to appear to you."_

I nod, trying to take in all this insanity. I'm still not sure I've quite wrapped my head around the fact that I can talk to the dead and I'm supposed to find my dead mother and communicate with her in order to find her killer.

_"We need your help" Katelyn says._

"Why me."

_"Because we found you first." _

"What do I need to do."

_"You need to avenge our deaths, you need to find our killers."_

"Who are they?" I ask.

_"They go by the names of Lucius, Rodolphos and Yaxley."_

"The death eaters?"

_"No, the Britains National pie eating contest winnners." Lydia says sarcastically. "Of course the Death Eaters!"_

Katelyn and Marci glare and her and Lydia back away a little bit.

_"Sorry." Katelyn and Marci say in unison. "She's a little mad." _

"Is she always like that?" I ask.

_"Yeah, basically." Marci tells me._

"So you need me to kill them?"

_"mhm." Marci and Katelyn nod._

"I already have to find my mother, I don't know where she is? I can't help everybody."

_"We will take you to your mother, only if you agree to help us and suceed. If not you will have to figure it out for yourself."_

"Okay." I agree. "I'll help you, but you have to take me to my mother after. You have to promise to take me to my mother."

_"We promise." The three girls say together._

They dissapear quicker than they came. 'Why does everything have to be so difficult' What is going to happen to be. I've just agreed to kill three people, one of them being the father of my classmate. Not to mention my mothers killer who could be anybody! He of she might not even me a witch or wizard all though I highly doubt that. It has to be somebody from the magical world.

"Hey." I hear a voice call, some voice that I recgonize very well.

"Harry?" I call out.

"Hey, though that I would come see you before dinner, how you doing?" He asks.

"Alright, I feel a little sick... I have some things to do after I get out of here, which I hope is soon."

"What do you need to do?" Harry asks me.

"I can't tell you.." I say sitting up.

Harry comes to sit beside me. He puts one arm around me and whispers. "You can tell me anything Hermione, don't worry about how crazy it sounds."

"I don't know if it was real or if it was a dream, I've been having dreams about a relative of Luna's... Leigh, just this last time we meet, the last time I was unconscious she told me I could communicate with the deceased. Just minutes before you came three little girls. Former students from here I beleive. Lydia, Marci and Katelyn. Told me I had too avenge their deaths. Three people Harry, the told me I would have to kill three people. They also know where my mother is and I have to find her so I can find her killer. Thats why I have to do all this and I'm worried and afraid and confused. You probably think I'm on too much medication and I'm crazy but you just have to believe me. Harry please you just have to."

Harry stares at me wide-eyed. "Slow-down there Hermione." He tells me. "Now say that again but shorten it up a little bit, okay?"

"I fell unconscious, the last time you were here, A little girl named leigh told me that I could commincate with the deceased. A little while before you came I was approached by three little girls. I have to kill thier killers."

"Did they tell you who they killers were?" Harry asks.

"Wait, you actually believe me?" I question.

"Yeah, of course, who were the killers?"

"Lucuis, Rodolphos and Yaxley. I have to kill the three of them and my mothers killer, Harry I really don't like this."

"You'll be okay Hermione, I know you will. I'm going to go down for supper, get some sleep. I'll be here after to say goodnight."

Harry comes back after supper and we talk a little bit.

"You think I'm crazy don't you?" I ask.

"No, it's just going to take me a little time to get used to, In the muggle world they call people like you mediums."

I nod. "Yes I remember." I tell him. "I took me a little while to get used to it to, but I don't want to have to kill four people Harry, I don't even want to kill one. How am I supposed to do this?"

"I'll help you, Were in this together Hermione, You have me and Ginny and Ron, well sort of, Neville and Luna, you have so many friends who love and support you. I'm sure you can do it. You'll be okay. you don't have to go through this alone." Harry tells me.

"Thank you Harry." I look up at him smiling.

"Don't worry Hermione, Eveything will turn out alright, you'll end up fine and after all of this is over. We can live a normal life again."

"We still have all of your stuff to deal with though."

"Lets take it one step at a time. We aren't going to stress ourselves out and we aren't going to make it more complicated. I will put you before myself, because I need you and I love you."

I smiling laughing. "I love you too Harry." I say as I hug him. "Thank you."

"Don't worry about it, We'll be fine. I wont leave you. I know you won't leave me. Were in this together now." Harry replies.

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**-Hope it was okay! Thanks for reading **

**-HarmonyG**


	21. The Death Book

**I wrote this fast, I though I might quite actually, So if you're bored of this leave a reveiw and I'll move on If you would like me to keep writing leave a reveiw of waht you thought. I just really have no inspiration right now... Sorry.**

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"Harry?" I question.

"yes." He replies turning to look at me.

"Do you think I'm abnormal, because of all this?" I ask.

"No, of course not. It's not a common ability but that makes you Special, not abnormal."

I smile at him. I don't know why all this is happening, my world seems to be crashing down all at once. I can't seem to concentrate. I've been terribly sad about my mother lately. I just about owled my father to make arragments for me to come back home for a little while. I didn't I figured I was sick and that It would take less time to heal with magical remedies than muggle remedies. I stay silent for a while and just stare of into space wondering about things. Everything, lately more things have been on my mind than ever before, this sickness, my mother and even my father. My friends, Ginny, Harry and even Ron. Although we haven't spoken for ages. A lot of what concerns me is school. How much work am I going to have when I get back. How much more do I have to miss. How many exams will I have to take. So far Harry has been taking extra notes for me. 'isn't he just the best" I think to myself.

"Hermione, Hermione, Hermione, Hermione. HERMIONE!" Harry calls over and over getting louder each time until he's practically shouting. I think he even scared a few first years who were only passing by.

"What, yes.. Sorry Harry, go on.." I reply.

He looks at my sadly. "Are you alright, Everytime I come see you, you always seem to be getting a little bit worse." He says with a sympathetic tone in his voice.

"I don't know. I still can't get over the fact that I have four people to kill. The three little girls' killers and my mothers mysetry killer."

"I know you're not a murder Hermione, but you have to do this, don't you, you do want to find your mother, right?"

"Yes, I do, more than anything. Just to see her face again, to be able to say goodbye. See her one last time before she dissapears... Forever." I finish.

"We'll find her, or she'll find you, you have this ability because you are the one destined to find the killer. In the end it will have to be you."

"It really will, won't it, I'll have to be the killer" I sigh looking down. Harry puts a hand on my shoulder and I look up. Into his eyes.

"Yes, In the end, it must be you." He states. "It has to be you. But I know you can do it, you'll be okay with it after a while. I know what I'm saying sounds harsh, it's not okay to kill people. But keep in mind these three men, evil men, Death Eaters killed three little innocent girls."

"Its sound different when you put it that way, why did these girls die anyways, do you know?" I ask him.

He shakes his head. "I'm sorry Hermione, but no, it couldn't have been too long ago, Lucius, Rodolphos and Yaxley are still living."

I think for a moment. I remember I was in the library and I saw a book. It was a book, something about Hogwarts and Death. If that help us out at all.

"Harry."

"Yes Mione."

"I remember seeing a book in the library."

"Of course." Harry says rolling his eyes. "But go on..." He finsihes.

"It was about Death and Hogwarts, there may be something in there."

Harry nods. "I'll go ask about it."

Harry leaves and I'm left alone for a while. I look over at the clock. Its getting quite late and the Hospital wing visiting hours will be over in forty- five minutes or at eigth. Just as I turn my head in the direction of the door Harry comes in carrying a book.

"Here Hermione this may be it."

_"The Deaths of The students of Hogwarts, Past, Present and Future." _

"Look for K's it a girl named katelyn." I tell him.

_Katelyn Presco- Ravenclaw House. _

_Blood status- Half-blood_

_Date of death- September 23rd 1993 _

_Age at the time -Twelve_

_Killed by- Malfoy, Lucius. Her Father killed two death eaters and Katelyn was killed to punish him. _

"Thats her, Try M's not for Marci."

_Marci Coemland- Hufflepuff house_

_Blood Status- Muggleborn_

_Date of death- September 23rd 1993  
Age at the time- Twelve_

_Killed by- Yaxley, Her family were murder suspects in a case where five Death eaters had been killed. The family hade never known about the case and were killed for being suspects. _

_Lydia Franklin- Slytherin House_

_Blood status- Pureblood _

_Date of death- September 23rd 1993_

_age at the time- Twelve_

_Killed by, Lestrange, Rodlophos, Her great uncle for being a blood traitor. _

"That is the worst book, I've seen in my entire life." I tell Harry

"Look Hermione, Its you."  
"Me?" I question.

"It says Deaths past, present and Future... Wait let me read it first." Harry says.

_Hermione Granger- Gryffindor house_

_Blood staus- Muggleborn_

_Date- November 19th 1995 _

_Age- 15_

_Condition- Sick_

_Life Expectancy- 3-5 Months_

_Cause of Death- Currently Unkown_

I worry for her. Alot Then I find mine...

_Harry Potter- Gryffindor House._

_Blood Status- Half-blood_

_Date- November 19th 1995_

_Age- 14_

_Condition- Healthy_

_Life Expectancy- 2 years_

_Cause of Death- Killed by Dark forces..._

I see Harry's expression go from Happy to sad in an instant. I start to cry...

"Harry, Harry what is it?" I ask.. "Harry am I going to die?" I ask.

"No," He says. But I can tell that He's lying.

I know it's not good, I know I'm sick and I'm about to go into battle. It must be that. I must be dying. I have to get my hands on that book. Harry will never let me see it. I have to see it. I have to know when it's going to happen so I can plan around my death. Before I die I must find my mothers killer. I have to make sure thay they are dead before I can die. It has to happen and it will happen. I promise myself that I will make it happen. I have to make it happen...

"Tell me Harry." I finally say. "If you don't tell me I will find another way to get my hands on that book!" I yell.

"Hermione, as much as I know you would like to know, It would break my heart to see you sad."

"I don't have long do I?" I ask.

"No Its not that its just that?"

"Its less than a year isn't it?"

"Hermione!"

"Is not even six months."

"Hermione Stop please" Harry pleads

I grab the book forcefully, and I see it,

_Hermione Granger- Gryffindor house_

_Blood staus- Muggleborn_

_Date- November 19th 1995 _

_Age- 15_

_Condition- Sick_

_Life Expectancy- 3-5 Months_

_Cause of Death- Currently Unkown_

There it is. There I am with my life of three to five months left. With a currently unknown death and my sickly condition and my age and house and blood status. I sigh and throw the book over the side of the bed. Harry looks at me sympatheticly.

"Harry, I'm going to die, I'm going to die because of unkokn causes in Three to five months. Thats all I have left! not even a year. Three to five, imagine that. After that I'll be gone. gone, Gone forever Never to return.

"Hermione, I have two years. When I die I'll find you."

"You'll find me?" question. "How?"

"I don't know but I will and when I do, I'll never leave you again." He says.

I smile, Life is not forever, But love is...

Its starting to get dark. For a while I wouldn't speak to Harry and he let me be. I guess he decided that I needed some time to sort things out

"Harry?" I call

"yes?" He replies

"You think I could live through this?" I ask him. "Whatever this is going to be?"

"Yeah, I really do, but you got to take care of yourself, don't let yourself waste away just because you think that you wont live."

"Whats the point if I'm going to die anyways. Why not just live freely, just give up, forget about the problems. Why not just have some fun and let go of everything else?"

"Because you can't live that way, you have to be strong... Be stong for me." He tells me

"It's so hard to be strong when your world is crashing down around you..." I reply.

"Stop being so negative! You're not like this Hermione whats gotten into you?"

"I'm slowly dying, whats there to be happy about?" She asks me.

"You have a father who loves you... you have friends, Hermione you have a great life." I tell her smiling.

"I HAD a great life, there are so many things i'll never get to do, I won't fall in love, I'll never have a family. I won't habe children, I'll never get a job..." Hermione replies.

"Whats so great about a job?" Harry asks

"It's a sense of accomplishment" I tell him happily.

I pause for a moment thinking about what to say next

"Harry, I'm just wasting everybodys time. I'm taking up space that could be used for somebody much more important than I am. somebody who's not going to die in less than a year somebody who is much more important than me."

"Hermione there is nobody who is more important than you." Harry tells me.

"So many people will do greater things than I ever will" I reply.

"You as a person are just as important as everybody else. You are so Important to me and Ron, we don't know what we would do without you."

"You will both grow up to be great people, you'll have the chance to get a Job, have children and get married, live somewhere nice, go travel the world if you wish... I'll just die..."

"Hermione there are people much worse off than you, they can't afford anything"

"but they get to live Harry, I don't"

"Hermione, stop, just stop okay. I don't want to hear another comment about death or how your worthless or how you think other people are more important than you, it's all not true. I don't want you believing it's true either."

I sigh Heavily. "I never asked for this you know. I had so many things I wanted to accomplish, before I died but now... I may never get the chance too."

"Hermione! come on I really Please stop!" I call.

I can see that she's beggining to cry.

"Do you know what its like Harry?"

"I don't know, sort of. Voldemort has been trying to kill me for years."

She looks at me and I can see shes trying to force a smile.

"No the same is it?" I ask.

Hermione shakes her head "Not exactly, you know when it's coming, you can protect yourself and have people who can protect you. I'm dying and nobody can stop that, nobody can protect me.."

"Don't worry sweetheart." I pull her into a hug. "I won't let you go that easily."

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**Didya like it!**

**Reveiw Responses if I get a review Will start next chapter! Okat bye!  
Also thanks to those of you who have read, Reveiwed, Followed or favourited, Your support is Lovely!**


	22. Feeling Better?

I thank Harry for his kind words and try to feel a little bit happier. Madam Pomfrey comes over to us.

"It's eight-Thirty now , Miss. Ganger needs to rest. I advise you not to come see her to often in the future."

Harry glares at her. "Why not?" He asks sounding slightly angry at her suggestion.

"It's not good for her, you're keeping her from resting, she will need lots of it in the coming days. They will be harsh."

"If they're going to be harsh. She'd need support. Don't you think?" Harry asks. Trying to sound angry but he seems concerned about me.

I watch the two fight for a while longer until Harry agrees to only come for a maximum of three hours a day. Madam Pomfrey looks over at me. "Rest." Is all she says.

I sigh and roll my eyes then lay back down in the bed and turn around so I don't have to face her.

_Novmeber 22nd_

I haven't written my mother since last week. Now Nobody is even allowed to come visit me. Harry never comes anymore since Pomfrey yelled at him for waking me up once. Ginny claims to have much to much homework and Ron, well lets say Ron and I still aren't in contact. I feel worse than ever now. I haven't gotten any better, if anything I'm getting worse by the second. The other contributing factors include things like Harry, not coming to see me anymore. That must be the worst. Weeks ago he told me that he loved me and now he won't even make an effort to come see me. Simply because he's too afraid to get yelled at again for waking me up.

"Hermione, get up!" I hear Pomfrey call. "You have to take this. It'll make you feel a little bit better."

I mumble something and turn over in the bed. "No, I'm fine." I tell her.

"Hermione." She calls sternly. "You do want to get better, don't you?" She asks.

"I do." I say solemly. "I want to see Harry again and if you won't let him back in here then, I'll have to get better in order to see him."

She looks down at me. "Harry told me he didn't want to see you again."

I shake my head. "No you're lying!" I yell.

"I told me you were going crazy, you weren't yourself, You think you talk to dead people..."

"But I do, and we did... The book, of all the deaths of the students..." I say sadly about to cry.

"Don't worry Hermione, you'll be okay without him. He doesn't want to be here with you.."

I feel a lump in my throat and gulp. "I thought he loved me. I thought that he cared..."

_November 30th_

I'm realeased from the hospital wing now. I pass Harry and Ginny walking and I glare at the both of them. They never came to see me once... Not once since that day. 'They probably don't even care. Harry knows I'm going to die, nobody else knows not one person."

"Hermione!" Harry smiles.

I turn and start walking the other way.

"Hermione." He calls again.

I pretend to ignore him.

"Hermione, what's wrong."

I turn to face him and glare at him. "Whats wrong? You want to know what's wrong! You tell me you never came once! Not once since that day and now you claim I'm crazy and you don't care. Well I'm sorry you think that, It's your loss, who cares if you don't love me anymore. I certainly don't."

I turn around on the spot. Probably leaving Harry thinking.

"Hermione, wait what?" He questions.

"You know what!" I yell not turning back to look at him.

"Is she okay?" Ginny turns to me and asks.

"No, shes not."

"What happened to her?"

I stare at her "I don't know I'm not sure, I think that she hates me."

"Do you hate her?" Ginny asks Becuase l she thinks you hate her"

"I never said that I hated her. Whatever, I don't want to see her again." Harry says.

"Why, you don't miss her, you don't want her to know you still like her?"

"No, I don't care for her anymore. She's not normal, anymore she thinks she talk so dead people Ginny, Dead People!"

**Draco**

I spot Granger from in the hallway... This is my chance

"Granger" I hiss.

Slowly I watch her turn around to face me. "Malfoy?" She questions.

"Granger, what were you wimpering about?"

"Nothing ,what are you talking to me for." I retort.

I nod my head. "Listen Granger, I suggest you stay out of my way, and watch your back."

"Why?" She asks startled.

"I've been given an assignment."

"You've been given the assignment to kill me haven't you."

"You're to smart Granger..." I say "Keep yourself safe."

"Yeah well don't worry about trying to kill me, I'll be dead in a few months and you can report that back to your fellow death eaters or whoever sent you on the mission." Hermione says angrily as she storms away from me.

**Harry**

Ginny and I return to the common room and take a seat on the couch nearest to the fireplace. It gotten very cold at Hogwarts these past few days.

"Look Ginny, whatever Hermione has, it's made her go Crazy."

"Harry, it might be true, remember what you told her?"

"Yeah I do, I was trying to make her feel better, I didn't believe her, not even if she had that dumb book."

The book. That dumb book that had told me my best friend has three to five months to live. Three to five and now I'm ingoring her like I hate her. I feel so bad how could I forget already how could I be so mean. My friend is going to die and I can't save her. She might not even forgive me. What am I doing with my life. What am I doing. I feel so bad, I can't eve n begin to describe how bad I feel. I have this terrible feeling that it's not going to change anytime soon. Even If she doesn't love me any longer I don't ever know if I can get over the fact that I still love her. I love her so much,

I love you to the moon and back.

"Ginny." I say standing up."I'm going to find Hermione. I'll be back in a little while."

"okay" Ginny replies sweetly. "Bring her back here when you find her."

I nod. "Of course."

I search and search for Hermione, Finally finding her on the courtyard bench. "Hermione..." I call sweetly.

"Don't talk to me Harry, I know you hate me now."

I try to look at her. Yet she doesn't want to look at me. "Hermione." I call once again.

"Hermione, where on earth did you get the idea that you hate me."

"You said so, Madam Pomfrey said you didn't want to come see me anymore."

"I said that because she told me that your condition was worsening and you needed rest, I wanted you to get better."

"Do you think I'm crazy?" She asks me.

"Maybe just a little... I don't know Hermione. I know you don't lie and you're not normally crazy..."

"Look, Harry. I think its best if we forget. Forget everything, Forget me... Forget us."

I look at her sadly. "Hermione, why, whats gotten into you. Why are you so sad hun?"

"I'm going to die Harry, In three to five months. I guess now Three to four is more correct. It'll be easier to let go now, when you still see me sometimes. It'll make it easier on you when I pass."

I look at her sadly. "I don't want to leave you alone. I don't want to forget about you, or us."

"I know you don't, I don't want to forget about us either, but it won't be as hard on you later."

"I don't care Hermione. I'll be sad either way. I need you and I want to spend every second I can with you. I thought I'd have you forever Hermione."

"I guess forever isn't as long as you hoped it would be."

It starting to get cold out. The snow is coming down harder than ever before. I think we may be in for a pretty huge snowstorm this night. The clouds are a dark grey colour and as I look up into the sky, as far as I can see snow covers the earth. The lake is starting to freeze over and the entire sky is dark. It doesn't seem that this snow is going to let up anytime soon. It may even go on for days.

"Hermione."

"Mhmh" she replies sounding sad.

"Hey." I say looking towards her. "Whats wrong?" I question. I feel so bad for her lately. She;s been so sad. I can't do anything at all to help her. She's still recoveringfrom beign sick for the longest time and I don't know when she'll fully recover or even If she'll actually fully recover from whatever this is. Who knows this sickness may even be the thing to eventually take her life, but I don't want to think about any of that right now, Its much too far away for my liking and I want to keep her here and with me as long as I have her.

"Harry?" Hermione calls softly. "Harry, my head hurts and I'm cold."

I grab her arm. "lets go inside, I'll bring you back up to the common room and we can sit by the fire, Ginny is really excited to see you."

She smiles. "I haven't seen either of you in so long, I missed you guys." She says.

"I missed you too Mione." I say smiling at her. "Come on, can't have freezing out here and getting sick again now can we?"

"No. I guess not." Hermione says laughing.

I take Hermione inside and we walk up into the common room. Ginny is still sitting by the fire waiting for us and as soon as we walk in she runs over to us.

"Hermione!" She calls. "Hermione I missed you, how are you doing?" She asks.

"I'm doing fine Ginny." Hermione replies. "Thank you." She finishes.

I see Hermione start to shiver and grab a blanket from once of the couches and wrap it around her. All three of us walk over back to the fire and sit on the ground in front of it. After a little while passes I feel Hermione's cheeck. She still feels feezing cold.

"Hermione, you're still really cold."

She nods her head. "I know, it takes a while for me to warm up sometimes, it was really cold outside."

I still seem unsure about Hermione's condition. She should be nice and toasty warm by now. But she's still as freezing cold as an Ice cube. I don't understand what's happening to her right now. She could be fine or she could be really sick.

"Hermione, I'm not sure I should take you to the hospital wing..."

"No!" She inturpts. "I'll be fine I just got out of that horrid place this morning . It's not even suppertime yet and there is now way that I'm going back. No way..." She states. "There's just no way." She repeats.

"Hermione, I just want to be sure, I should take you in. I really want you to feel better. I don;t want you sick."

"Harry, I'm just a little cold, By tomorrow I'll be totally fine. I'll be nice and warm and healthy. I don't want to be in the hospital wing, I just don't."

I release a heavy sigh. "Alright Hermione, Fine you're smart and you make good choices. If you don't want to go that's fine. But please please just at least check in with Her if you start to feel worse or you're not better in an hour."

Hermione nods. "Alright Harry fine, if I don't feel better within the hour I'll allow you to take me to the hospital wing to 'check in' good enough?" She asks me.

I nod. "good enough." I say.

We turn our attention back to the fire. I just sit there silently for a while as Ginny and Hermione talk about who knows what. After what seems likes ages Hermione asks me about Ron.

"Do you think he hates me?" Hermione questions.

"Do you think who hates you?" ask her. Not hearing the full question.

"Ron." Hermione states. "do you think he hates me?" She repeats.

"No, I think he may be a little angry. But he does really need to get over the fact that we love each other."

Hermione looks at me sadly.

"What is it?" I ask her.

"We can't love each other Harry, I'm going to die in three to five months. You need to find somebody who can love you forever."

"YOU GOING TO WHAT." Ginny shouts surpried. "How long have you known this?" Ginny demands.

"A while, which means a couple of weeks."I tell her.

"You didn't think that I would like to know this to, Hermione is my friend Harry, you and Ron aren't her only friends. You do know that don't you."

"Of course Ginny." I say.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you Ginny. I should have. I should have told Harry that It was alright to tell you. If it's anybody's fault you didn't know eariler it's mine so don't blame Harry."

Ginny smiles at Hermione. "It's okay Hermione I'm glad that I get to know it now rather than right before or as it was happening. But I guess we shouldn't really talk about it. Lets change the subject and talk about something happy instead now."

"Yeah..." Hermione says solemly. "I guess that we should."

"We don't have to talk about anything if you don't want to, we could just sort of sit and relaxfor a while if you'd like that." I suggest,

"Yeah, thanks Harry, that would be nice, I'm not really in the mood for talking about anything right now." Hermione replies.

"It's alright Hermione. We understand." Ginny tells her.

**Hermione**

I feel so bad lately. I'm still very cold but I don't dare tell Harry because I don't want to go back to the horrid hospital wing. I just got out of that place this afternoon and I have no intentions of going back... None what so ever. Ginny just found out that I'm probably going to die in three to five months. She seemes really sad now. But when I said it she didn't know anything about and she was very surprised to hear about it.

I wish that all of this didn't have to happen sometimes I wonder why all this bad stuff is happening to me all the time. My mother passing, all these different sicknesses that I've had to deal with and now this whole three to five months life expectancy thing. Sometimes I think to myself. Recently I've thought about it quite a bit. It's just always Why me. Why are all these bad things happening to me.

Sometimes I just want to crawl into bed and sleep. Sleep forever , be at rest be peacefull. Its not that I want to die, I really do want to stay here with Ginny and Harry. Even Ron, they are all my friends after all and I can't just ditch them. I can't just leave them here alone. I know they would miss me and I would miss them. I can't begin to tell anybody how much I would miss them. Right now my friends mean everything to me. I can't just leave the world. I can't give up. I don't even know how i'm going to die, I could end up living after all and me and Harry would be Happy together.

I'll get to see all my friends regularly. I'll have my father, my father. I can't just leave him either. I'm all that he has left. If I were to die he's be so sad. He already lost my mother... His wife. I know that he knows who killed her and he outright refuses to tell me who or what he or she looks like. I guess that they actually were looking for me and he doesn't want me in any danger. But I have to find my mothers killer they must pay for the injustice that they have done our family.

I do miss my mother dearly and even my father I don't get to see him much and I was supposed to go to his house on the weekends but I had to stay in the hospital wing since I was so sick for a long period of time.

_November 30th_

_Dearest Mother,_

_I really miss you. I know that I'm supposed to be going to fathers house every weekend. But I've been very sick and I think that you know about all that. Anyways I'm writing to tell you that I need to kill four people and I'm not sure if I can handle all that pressure. I really want to find you and the three little girls said that If I find and kill their three killers that they would help me to find you. So I can find and destroy your killer too. I want to seek vengenece on these people for they killed you and I'm almost sure that they meant to kill meinstead of you. _

_Because I was supposed to be home that day. Wasn't I but I decided to stay at school and they killed you because I wasn't there. I feel like it's my fault almost everyday I regret it. Everyday I feel even more guilty about your death being my fault. I'm sure that I should probably go and see father soon. He probably misses me and I miss him. He knows that I've been sick because I hade to write to him a few times explaining why I couldn't come home on the weekends. _

_Now my friends Ginny and Harry are all worried over my health and my sickness and my death and everything. Oh yes let me talk about the fact that I might only have three to five months to live. Yes, soon I might be joining you on the other side. I'll be leaving my father and my friends and everybody._


	23. December 1st

**So yeah, this is from yesterday. forgot about it.**

* * *

_December 1st_

_So I fell asleep, I was writing and just fell asleep. I woke up and the letter was sitting by me, and I was in my room. Hopefully nobody read the letter and saw that I was writing to my dead mother. They would think that i'm weird or crazy or something. It's a good thing I still have father. I don't know how he can stand being alone for so long. I haven't seen him in forever. I feel really sad. I miss him. I'll be going home for christmas and hopefully my friends will come with me. Instead of going to Ron's house like we normally do every year. _

_It's December now too, feel asleep on November thirtieth and Woke up on December first. which means that christmas is only twenty-four days away. I'm excited to see father again. It'll be nice. I as was saying before I miss him. But I also miss you and I don't understand how I'm supposed to find you. Those three little girls have been killed and I was told that I need to kill the three of them. I don't know how I will end up doing it. I'm hardly capable of killing anybody. Even though I want revenge on your killer I'm even concerned about that one._

_Also the three girls could be lying. They might not even know you and I doubt you know who they are but I don't want to take any chances I need to do whatever I can to find you and your killer. I will mother, I will defeat your killer and I will find you I promise. I know you may not want me to. But I feel like I must and if I feel like I must do something It has to be done. _

_I'm not sure If I'm going to let Harry, Ron and Ginny come with me. I'd feel so bad if anything bad, anything at all were too happen. Harry has already told me that he would be there for me and help me no matter whar. I'm not sure if I want to let him come though. I know Molly would never allow Ginny to do such a thing and Ron still practically hates me so I doubt he'd even think of coming. I really do miss him and having his company, being his friend. Now that I think about it. It's really truly awful. I never intended to hurt him. It's been over a month since the two of us have had a proper conversation. He hasn't visited me once in the hospital wing. I do miss him at times and at other times I am very glad that he isn't here. Although, those time rarely occur and don't last for more than a few hours._

_I've heard Harry calling my name at the door. Its's a saturday and nobody is in the room. I wonder why he doesn't come in if he knows I'm in here, boys aren't really allowed in the girls dormatoires but thats never stopped him before now. I'll write to you later mother, miss you lots. Best wishes._

_-Hermione._

I walk over to the door. "Hermione." Harry smiles. "How are you, sleep well."

"yeah, it was okay, what time is it." I ask him.

"Almost noon, I was just going down to lunch, I stopped by to see if you would like to come with me."

"Yeah, I'll come. Just let me get ready I'll meet you down in the common room in Ten minutes." I state.

"Okay," Harry replies. "See you."

I shut the door and start to get ready for lunch. I think back on everything, am I only here for one reason. My mother used to say that everybody was here for a reason. Is this mine? Is this the only reason Im here, to find and kill these four people. Then I'll die. I sigh, why am I living, if the only purpose it has is to kill other people. I'm not a murderer, and I don't want to be remembered as a murderer.

I quickly finish up getting ready and walk down to the common room to meet Harry for lunch. "Hey, you got ready fast." He smiles.

"Yeah."I say solemly.

"Whats wrong? You're sad, aren't you."

I look down at my feet. "Can I stay here, I'm not hungry, you go..."

"Come on Hermione, not this again. You can't start not eating, not now."

"It's not that, I just don't want to go. I... I don't feel good."

Harry cocks his head. "Hermione... Come on, go to the hospital wing already."

"No, It's not like that."

"Then what, Hermione. I don't know anything If you won't tell me, I can't read you mind, or sense your feelings."

"Fine then, just leave me alone."

"Hermione..."

"GO." I yell. I turn away and walk back up to me room.

**Harry **

I watch Hermione walk away. I suddenly feel bad. But she'll be alright, I'll come back up and check on her. Once lunch is over, I'll ask Ginny if she can help me figure out whats wrong with Hermione.

"I though you were bringing Hermione with you." Ginny states.

"No, I asked her. She told me she didn't want to come."

"Harry! You can't leave her!" Ginny yells

"What! Why not?"

"What do you think, she's sad, she doesn't want to come to eat."

"Ginny, No, don't even think about that, she wouldn't even think to do anything like that."

"She could..." Ginny replies.

"Ginny, it's Hermione, shes just not like that. I'm not worried."

"You're never worried about her..." Ginny says. She gets up and leaves.

"Ginny wait!" I call leaving the table to follow her. "Where are you going?"

"Im going to find your girlfriend. Well maybe she'll hate you after this and she won't want to be your girlfriend."

"Ginny, I never told you that I wasn't worried about her. she simply didn't want to come so i didn't force her too."

Ginny shakes her head. "You need to pay more attention to her, before she wastes away to nothing. You can't let her get sick again. You need to help her."

"Things are more complicated than you know they are."

"Yeah, Harry like what. I don't know anything so please imform me of this mysterty situation you and Hermione are in!" Ginny retorts.

"Ginny, I can't tell you. If you tell somebody they'll never let us go."

"GO where?" Ginny practically yells.

"I, can't say. I promised her that I'd keep it a sceret!"

"HARRY POTTER, you tell me right now. If this is something that could result in Hermione getting hurt of killed or something I want to know!"

"Ginny I can't promise you that. You could get hurt doing anything."

Ginny walks away from me. "Yeah well whatever it is Harry, I'll talk her out of it!"

I laugh. "Yeah" I call after her. "good luck with that. SHe was the one who asked for my help in the first place."

"Youre a liar" Ginny calls behind her. "and lairs never prevail." She finishes.

"You just keep thinking that." I call after her.

Soon I have to follow Ginny up to the common room. Once she's there I see that she's already manages to get Hermione out of the bedroom and onto the couch. "Hey." I call at the too of them.

"Harry." Hermione calls happy. "I'm glad you came back." She smiles.

"I would never leave you." I say.

Ginny scoffs. "yeah right." She mumbles under her breath.

"So, you ready?" Harry asks. Hermione shakes her head. "Not really Harry, I'm nervous I don't know if I can do this."

"You can, I know you can. Lets just not think about it we don't have to leave for about another week."

Hermione nods. "I know but it feels so much closer than that."

HI put my hand on her shoulder. "You'll be alright Hermione. You're a great witch and I'm sure you'll succeed. You always do."

Hermione smiles back up at me. "Thanks Harry,

I'm a bit tired, I think I'll just go get some rest."

**Hermione**

I sit alone on my bed in the small bedroom I now share with four other girls. Yet nobody else is ere I guess the rest of the school is still out to lunch. Now sitting and eating just became something that I do less and less of with each passing day. I'm alone was again. Just like I am most of the the time.

I think about my mother a whole lot lately. I missed my mother. I want to be with my mother. Right now. I almost feel like I have to be with her. I mean sure i would miss my friends and my father and everybody else. But they'd eventually get over it. I would get to be with my mother instead of killing all those people. I've never ever considered this as an option before. Never, not to anything. But I don't want to kill people. I am not a murder and this may be my only choice.

I fell a little nervous about the whole subject. Harry would come for me soon. He would see my laying the calm. Motionless. Dead. I can't explain it though. How would he react. Would he even miss me dearly. He wouldn't have to help me anymore. He could just sit there and be alright with everything. He wouldn't have to do anything for me.

I could do it. But how. She could use her wand. But somebody might hear her and everybody would know how I died. Unless I could cast a silencing charm over the room. But I would have to do it now. Before he came. Before anybody found out.

I open my scrapbook. Her and Harry and Ron. Her friends. The school, notes she had written, one everyday since my first day at the school. I start to read them. Smiling and crying over what her eleven year old self had written in the first few weeks. All my feelings through the years. The Yule ball the triwazard tournament. I slowly felt my eyes close and I hug my book tightly to my chest.

* * *

**Hope its okay.**


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